For Reagan

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

I believe that truer words have never been said. Life changes fast. It changes in an instant and who wants to leave this world with any regrets?

Suicide. One word that leaves a sour taste in your mouth and so many unanswered questions in your mind. The process of grieving when it comes to suicide is so different than that of other deaths you are faced with. It takes an immense amount of time to process any death and to come to terms with losing someone and after living through a suicide this weekend, I don’t believe that ITS grief is one that anyone can understand until you have felt it. When someone in your life dies through suicide it becomes something that you will never truly be able to accept. There are questions that will never be resolved, wounds that will never heal, regrets and guilt that will be carried around for the rest of our lives.

A student of mine committed suicide yesterday and it has brought to the forefront a big fear in my life. When did I become so oblivious that I don’t recognize personality changes in my own classroom and wasn’t able to do anything about it? I became a teacher to be a role model for these students. To be a realist, to assess their problems, and to help them in everything they need. These students are just kids. Why haven’t I told them that life gets better? That the things that occur in the halls of a high school aren’t forever things… That who you are in high school is irrelevant to anyone and everyone else once you get the heck out of there. That suicide is never EVER the answer. That they will graduate, get a job, move out on their own, and figure out who they are and that they will love themselves in a totally different way, that’s more rewarding than anything they know right now. That everything will be different and manageable… Better than it is right now.

As an educator, we are asked to censor ourselves. We skirt issues that are relevant to these kids. Whether it’s regarding drugs and alcohol, or in our health classes where we teach the importance of abstinence to 9th graders that for the most part, are already sexually active, or censoring any other reality of life that they are already aware of and are using against each other anyways. It’s not good and I am not being effective in my job or in my position as a role model by doing so.

My students, my friends, my co-workers, and I have all experienced a shocking loss that nothing in life ever prepares you for. There’s no rule book to tell you how to let go and move forward. You just keep hoping for the days when you were at the high school football games cheering and everyone was happy, and life was easy and not so tumultuous. I dread going to work in the morning to face all of the tormented students left behind, but I hope to start now in being a better person for each one of my friends and my students.

May God grant peace to the Beene family and to all of those who are suffering.

“The cross leads to joy and not just happiness. There is a difference between joy and happiness. Happiness is something we know as enhancement or protection of our own lives. Joy comes in connection with another or with Jesus. Joy happens when we get to the core of life and realize that love is at the center. Jesus is God with us and will never leave or forsake us. Joy is not the absence of suffering; it is the presence of God.” – Robert Schuller

A Man’s World – No, no, no, it’s not.

Tonight, my brother’s girlfriend dyed my hair. This is something I felt I needed to say because I am such a prude when it comes to change. I never everrrrr take chances on my hair or anything look wise, really. If something ain’t broke, why fix it? Ya know? Well I took a chance and dyed my hair… nothing drastic, I’m not that bold, but I took it a shade or two darker… baby steps… and it looks ab fab! Not gonna lie, I’m a happy camper. The hair dying is just a segue into the real reason I’m writing this blog… after my hair affair my big brother, better known as Dr. Phil, enlightened Brie and I on the mind of a male. I’m going to ask you guys this: When you think of going to a drive-in movie what do you think? My mind immediately jumps to Grease ((which now that I’m thinking of it – – Danny definitely tried to cop a feel))… my friend Jackie’s went to Twister but my brother said his and every straight male’s mind goes straight to sex. Here is his first quote of the night: “It’s one of those things people do to say you’ve done it. Just because it’s ON THAT LIST. Who goes to the drive in and doesn’t try to hit it? It’s like going to New York and not going to Time Square. It’s Time Square, you’ve gotta go even though you know it’s weak, that’s just how it works.” His girlfriend and I were arguing that you could go to a drive in without being sexual. He disagreed. As much as I hate to admit he’s right, he brought up many valid points. He compared it to the list of places people bone just because you can say you did it there. Like the beach or a pool or an airplane… Here’s another little dialogue that went down:

Marques: Why do you think people try to hook up on an airplane? They flew out of the same house together, slept with each other… are going to a hotel room to sleep with each other in that city but they still try to sleep together in the bathroom? Why do you think they’re doing that?

Brie: The Mile High Club.

Marques: Thank you. Exactly, thank you! Certain things are on the list of checkpoints that guys have to do.

He then started in on the single life in Atlanta… saying that as a single attractive woman your game has got to be up in Atlanta. The competition is different… it’s higher. In Alabama, he said it’s like competing for the high school team but in Atlanta, you’re competing for the ALL STAR TEAM. It’s like the prettiest girls from all of those small towns come here. Now what? It’s like who’s going to shine here? There are more girls, more beautiful women.

Dating is hard work… not dating is hard… kinda dating is hard, everything is hard. 

Guys are physical. Big brother’s advice to me? Stay on point. When you don’t put in the work, there are 20 million of women that will, he said. Personally, I’m more of a t-shirt and nike shorts kind of girl so the being on point thing…  yeahhhhhh that’s something I definitely need to work on. And I think I will… I’m going to give Dr. Phil’s advice (and I have a 20 minute voice recording of it – this was some real therapy ish, I promise) a real go at it! What I’ve been doing obviously hasn’t been working so why not try taking advice from a guy that has never had to pursue a woman in his life. I’m going to give myself a makeover… the prettier version of me is going to hit the scene in Atlanta in pursuit of my dream guy. First step: getting back in shape. I gotta feel better about myself first, right? It all starts on Wednesday… primarily because I hate Monday’s and Tuesday’s are crazy days for me soooo Wednesday it is! Wish me luck 😉

Summer of Yes

It’s the SUMMER OF YES! I decided this a couple of weeks ago while I was sitting on the beach reading Girls in White Dresses.  I was soaking up the sun and as I read the opening paragraph of a chapter where the girls adopted a summer of yes, I thought “Hey, what the hell, I’ll give this a go too!”  

It’s the summer to take chances… do things I wouldn’t normally do. Think about it… I mean, how many times do you turn things down that are a little out of your comfort zone? I do… I would honestly say I turn things down more often than I say “yes” to them. Do I want to live my life ((or summer)) missing out on opportunities because they scare me a little bit? No, life is too short for that. We only get one chance at life… just one chance to experience anything and everything you want. So, say YES! Join me in this fun/slightly crazy mission to do things we wouldn’t normally do… go to places we wouldn’t normally go and meet new people that we would normally never meet. Who cares if it scares you?? Think about the doors it could potentially open. We all deserve nothing but happiness and to be surrounded by people who bring out the best in you.

Ask your closest friends to join in on this it might expand your friend group. I was actually having a convo with one of my friends recently about how hard it is to make real friends as you get older. We were talking about who really has the time [or wants to put in the time] to get to know someone new. Think about it… how many of you are in touch with a lot of your friends from high school or college. I’m not talking about those “friends” that you send Christmas cards to or a quick happy birthday note on their Facebook wall… I’m talking about real meaningful relationships. I would say I’m consistently in touch with probably about two people from high school and my two closest friends from college. Other than that the only friends I have are people I have met recently. So maybe expanding your friend group during the summer of yes isn’t a bad idea. I have a slight fear that if I don’t keep up these relationships with my current friends, I’m going to end up friendless… which is terrifying!!! It’s hard to connect with someone – or maybe it just is for me – and to be able to trust them immediately, right?

I dunno but what I do know is that my summer of yes has already started and I’ve stepped out of the box in more ways than one, for instance: my friend Morgan called me as I was getting ready for a date and asked me to join her at the Bachelor casting call – – would I ever do this in real life? Hell-to-the-NO! But she threw in that it was the summer of yes and I succumbed to the peer pressure and went and had a really good time… hmmm…. And then there was this guy that asked me on a date. Normal Katie would have said absolutely not in any other situation but since it’s the S.O.Y. I said yes and he’s turned out to be a really fun guy to talk to. Not saying I see a future with him ((he’s a little too short for my liking)) but he is turning out to be someone I enjoy hanging around. I’m two for two so far… give it a try and let me know what kind of risks you take in the comments section! Good Luck!!

Finding Prince Charming

So tonight I decided to catch up with my DVR and watch the shows I missed this week starting with The Bachelorette. It became quite apparent as I was watching this first episode that I am going to have plenty of material to write about every week after being introduced to these jokers! So I jotted down some thoughts as I was watching so it’s a little all over the place but hopefully you can follow it.

Obviously we can start a bachelorette drinking game on the fly. Looks like prince charming and blessed are going to be Des’ catch phrases… dang drunk already!

Straight to the fantasy suite Jonathan? Bold bold move… and my favorite line of his: “… and I’m going to try to kiss Desiree on the mouth…” he just keeps putting his foot in his mouth and it is just awesome. “I think I’m a pretty good catch… my mom says I’m pretty good looking… my love tank has not been depleted in years… we’re looking at a pretty large love tank.” I really really hope he has had some liquid courage for all of that talkity talk.

Andddd really Juan Paolo?? Did you really need to make Des feel like an idiot by mispronouncing your name four times?! Way to make an impression… an impression that you are a doucher, good thing you are gorge so we can look past it.

Well played Ben with the bring-your-kid-to-the-party-card… a little early in the game but I can respect that move. And it looks like he might be a little bit of an instigator a little later in the game… I reallllllllyyyy like that!

Drew, yum. That’s all that needs to be said. He is delish and sooooo adorbs and nice and I hope she doesn’t end up with him so I can move to Scottsdale and marry him. DIBS DES DIBS.

I would also settle for Robert… who am I kidding? I call shotgun on him too Des. I can handle them both! Cheekbones for dayyyyzzz.

Brandon – you are cute but you spoke approximately 32 words with the chick and you’re convinced she’s your future wife? Wah wah wahhhhhh… desperate much?

Zak, Zak, Zak… you say you need to let Des know that you are 100% serious about this yet you forgot your shirt… hmmmm, ya don’t say.

Guy who had those spastic dance moves… I just don’t know why you thought that would get you a rose. Keep those for in front of the mirror mister. Just realized during the rose ceremony that the bad dancer was Brad. He’s super hot so he can dance like an idiot around me anytime.

HashtagYOUSOUNDLIKEANIDIOT Kasey. Why oh whhhyyyy did she give him a rose? He’s going to drive me insane. I just don’t get it she had so much to choose from… like the Magician/Suit Guy from Chi town – he could totally pull a Now You See It kind of trick and give her all of the money in the world! What was she thinking!?

All this Larry guy can talk about is that damn dip!! She didn’t dump you because of the dip, she dumped you because your name is Larry and you are most definitely going to be a serial killer sometime in the near future.

So that’s it for my Bachelorette wrap up this week! Hope you enjoyed… look forward to next week, I am because this year the Bachelorette actually did the right thing and only kept the hotties… thank goodness! Priorities!

Trivia Night

I’m not sure if any of you fools have ever done team trivia but my friends and I love it. Just a good excuse to test your knowledge on useless information and be rewarded with pitchers of beer – why wouldn’t you do it? Becky, Bennett, Drew, Matt and I all braved Loco’s last night for a chance to take home that $5 off coupon and free pitcher of beer once more ((and failed…. miserably… I’m saying tied for fifth place miserably)). But we had a good time and I thought I would let you in on our night with some quotes from my fantastic friends (and yes, I am aware that you won’t think a lot of them are funny but that’s just because you weren’t there. We are effin HILARIOUS). So here we go…. some trivia night quotes:

Question Master: Name the actress that brought in the most ticket sales in the box office in the following dates from their initials.

1999 J.R.

2009 S.B.

1938 S.T.

1962 D.D.

Bennett: Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock…

Someone Else: Shirley Temple

Me: Let’s just throw out names that start with D.D. and see if we can figure it out.

<<MISCELLANEOUS NAMES THROWN OUT>>

Drew: Diane Douglas… who is she?

Question Master: Which of the 13 colonies is not bordered by the Atlantic Ocean?

Becky: Oohh… Philadelphia?

Me: Umm that’s not a state.

Matt: I think it’s Pennsylvania.

Becky: You stole my answer!!

Matt: No, you named a city.

Question Master: The next category is ZODIAC

Drew (to me): Exactly how confident are you with Zodiac?

Me: Well I thought it was on the Zodiac killer not the signs so now I’m not as confident.

Drew: Ummm…

Question Master: What was Chandler’s last name from the tv show Friends?

Me: Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing….

The guys: What was it??

Becky: I think she’s telling you the answer…

Matt: Oh I thought you were just making sound effects.

Me: It’s Bing!

Becky: Our lives could be a tv show!

Bennett: That would be a boring tv show… Me at my computer from 9 to 7… but I think we would be like How I Met Your Mother! You would be Marshall (pointing to Matt)

Me: Who would be Barney??

Becky: Drew’s Ted!

Drew: Yeahhhhaaaahaaa…

Me: And Bennett’s Barney!

All of us: I said a bang bang bangity bang… I said a bang bang bangity bang

Me: Actually I think we are more like Happy Endings.

Matt: What kind of Happy Ending?? (with full on eye brow wiggle… these guys have no shame)

Becky: But then one of them has to be gay…

Me: (pointing at Matt)

Bennett: So guys… what do you want to be when you grow up?

Matt: Rich… and I want to own my own island.

Becky: And I want to be your wife.

Becky: What are you doing on Friday?

Bennett: Playing call of duty with my little brother

Me: Awwwwwwwww… ((nudging Becky)) this is when you say “Awww”

Bennett: Yeah he’s deaf so we only bond over the sight of call of duty.

Becky: What are you doing?

Drew: Fishing on Lake Ontario.

Becky: Ok so you can hang out Friday?

Me: You do know that’s not in Georgia, right?

Becky: Wait, what?

Drew: Lake Ontario… one of the nation’s great lakes… I’m flying to New York…

Becky: Ohhhh!! Well what are you doing?

Matt: Nothing.

Becky: Do you want to hang out? (LET ME MENTION THAT SHE WAS EXTREMELY EXCITED IN THE WAY SHE SAID THIS)

Matt and all the other guys: WOAHHHHHH

Bennett: Have you guys ever seen a spatula thumb? Ew… they are so gross.

Me: What the hell is a spatula thumb?

Bennett: Ya’ll don’t know what a spatula thumb is? Here I’ll draw it

<<he draws a picture of a “spatula” thumb>>

Drew: I don’t think a spatula thumb is a thing.

Bennett: Yes it is!  I bet someone in this room knows what I’m talking about.

Me: Go around and poll every table then!

Bennett: I’m googling it!! You know that Megan Fox has one?

Drew: I know she has a nice rack!

Matt: No, I’ve never made it north of her waist.

Me: You mean south?

Matt: No north.

Bennett: Damnit… It’s called a toe thumb not a spatula thumb. Look here’s a picture.

Drew: Ewwwww…

Bennett: Yeah I once was talking to this girl and she pulled out her phone to send a text and I saw her thumb and was like ohh noo and walked away.

Me: No you didn’t!

Bennett: Truth. I can’t date a girl with a thumb like that.

Matt: Ohhh K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Me: First comes love second comes a b…

Bennett: WHAT?

Becky: Were you about to say baby? Second comes baby?!

Matt: No second comes marriage!! We know where your priorities lie

Drew: Let’s make some babies!!

MY AB FAB FRIENDS