The Way We Were…

When I started to tell people about what happened between myself and my FWB, everyone was super quick to be like, “What a douche!” or “He is such a jerk!”imagesouche But let’s be serious… I would never date a douche or a jerk… he’s my best friend and I honestly believe he’s an amazing guy. I always wonder why our first go to when you hear someone got dumped is to talk crap about their ex. I’m even guilty of doing it but after this recent departure, I’ve realized it’s not helpful. Not in the least. It’s already enough that you go from being in a “relationship” ((I use that term loosely in my case)) and having a best friend and then just like that, they’re your ex or somebody in your past. Their role in your life changes overnight and who wants to hear about what a douche he was by friends that are trying to make you feel better? Answer: NOT ME. It’s not the truth so why would I want to hear that nonsense?

Nothing takes away the initial sting of rejection. It has been about a month since my “break-up” and I’m trying to bounce back as well as I can. I had that week’s span ((ehhh maybe two weeks)) where I was selfish watching rom-coms  and feeling sorry for myself… it felt like I was admitting defeat and it hurt… I had the “Heyyyyy… maybe time will make him come to his senses” thoughts too, but now I’m trying to move on with my daily and meet guys that want to be with me. After I sat back and reflected on this relationship and past relationships, I knew that I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was pre-breakup. I complained about him not wanting to spend time with me, I went to sleep pissed because of numerous random things, and I was jealous of my friends and their relationships that had elements that mine didn’t. I mean when it comes down to it with break-ups, anyone who can walk away from you should be with someone else anyway. Why waste time hoping he’ll come to his senses?  I know that I can do better… it’s tough watching tv shows and rom-coms where at the end, they get back together and live happily ever after because that is not how it works. If I’m wrong, puuuhhhllleaasseeee let me know. I mean obv there are random exceptions (Carrie and Big) but I’m pretty positive that I am not the exception. I watched a TON (as I mentioned above) of these movies… I also put some time in with movies where there’s a break-up and then the bestie comes up from nowhere and professes their undying love and they live happily ever after and let’s not forget the one where the girl loves the guy and waits around for 74839472 years for the guy to bone any and everything that walks to finally figure out that he loves her (ONE DAY). Basically what I’m telling you is that I tortured myself for two weeks with this crap. PEOPLEEEEEE there is not ONE THING satisfying about sitting around and waiting for someone. What is the matter with us?? Or Hollywood, for that matter, producing nonsense like that? If you are doing something like this, stop it!! I’m telling you to cut it OUT!!marniebreakup You can’t spend your life waiting or worrying about another person or looking for their permission to be happy and to move on. :::NEWSFLASH::: I just tried that… for over a year and a half and was rewarded with nothing more than a broken heart. IT SUCKS and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy… actually I would, but that’s because she’s a bitch and married my ex-boyfriend but that’s a whole other story… your only responsibility is to yourself and to find someone who makes you happy and feel loved. Even on The Mindy Project season finale yesterday this ish is happening… Mindy tried a relationship with her best friend, it failed, he was trying to get her back and she didn’t know it so while she was having a heart to heart she told Danny that he was right when he said that “guys don’t break up with girls they secretly want to be with.” Helloooo – we all just need to realize this is true… a lot of talking goes down while you are getting dumped but the end all, regardless of what’s being said is that they’re STILL BREAKING UP WITH YOU!! While you might feel like crap the first month after a break-up, I promise it gets better.hangoutallthetime

And if you want to go out with the last word I recommend you throw out this quote from one of my FAVORITES from my cry fest a couple of weeks ago, The Way We Were… Hubbell is in the process of breaking up with Katie when she says, “You’ll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or love you as much!” I mean they still break-up but it’s a good one… and I felt that way with my last break-up… should have watched this damn movie again before we talked J Oh well, at least you’ll be prepared to get the last word in and leave them wondering what could have been.

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