Finding Prince Charming

So tonight I decided to catch up with my DVR and watch the shows I missed this week starting with The Bachelorette. It became quite apparent as I was watching this first episode that I am going to have plenty of material to write about every week after being introduced to these jokers! So I jotted down some thoughts as I was watching so it’s a little all over the place but hopefully you can follow it.

Obviously we can start a bachelorette drinking game on the fly. Looks like prince charming and blessed are going to be Des’ catch phrases… dang drunk already!

Straight to the fantasy suite Jonathan? Bold bold move… and my favorite line of his: “… and I’m going to try to kiss Desiree on the mouth…” he just keeps putting his foot in his mouth and it is just awesome. “I think I’m a pretty good catch… my mom says I’m pretty good looking… my love tank has not been depleted in years… we’re looking at a pretty large love tank.” I really really hope he has had some liquid courage for all of that talkity talk.bach

Andddd really Juan Paolo?? Did you really need to make Des feel like an idiot by mispronouncing your name four times?! Way to make an impression… an impression that you are a doucher, good thing you are gorge so we can look past it.

Well played Ben with the bring-your-kid-to-the-party-card… a little early in the game but I can respect that move. And it looks like he might be a little bit of an instigator a little later in the game… I reallllllllyyyy like that!

Drew, yum. That’s all that needs to be said. He is delish and sooooo adorbs and nice and I hope she doesn’t end up with him so I can move to Scottsdale and marry him. DIBS DES DIBS.bachelorette drew

I would also settle for Robert… who am I kidding? I call shotgun on him too Des. I can handle them both! Cheekbones for dayyyyzzz.

Brandon – you are cute but you spoke approximately 32 words with the chick and you’re convinced she’s your future wife? Wah wah wahhhhhh… desperate much?bachelorette brandon

Zak, Zak, Zak… you say you need to let Des know that you are 100% serious about this yet you forgot your shirt… hmmmm, ya don’t say.

Guy who had those spastic dance moves… I just don’t know why you thought that would get you a rose. Keep those for in front of the mirror mister. Just realized during the rose ceremony that the bad dancer was Brad. He’s super hot so he can dance like an idiot around me anytime.

HashtagYOUSOUNDLIKEANIDIOT Kasey. Why oh whhhyyyy did she give him a rose? He’s going to drive me insane. I just don’t get it she had so much to choose from… like the Magician/Suit Guy from Chi town – he could totally pull a Now You See It kind of trick and give her all of the money in the world! What was she thinking!?

All this Larry guy can talk about is that damn dip!! She didn’t dump you because of the dip, she dumped you because your name is Larry and you are most definitely going to be a serial killer sometime in the near future.

So that’s it for my Bachelorette wrap up this week! Hope you enjoyed… look forward to next week, I am because this year the Bachelorette actually did the right thing and only kept the hotties… thank goodness! Priorities!bachpremierefeature_399_282_s_c1_center_top_0_0

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Friendship.

Hello Hello HELLOOOO. Remember me? No? Yeah, I know… I’m sorry I’ve been mia as of late but these last few weeks have been absolutely packed!! But I’m making time for you now so please forgive me for neglecting my blog. This is going to be a little somber of a post but it’s been a bit rough lately. Dealing with guy drama is normal for me but when I have to deal with work, friendships, guys and family stuff at the same time – everything gets a little out of control and weird and depressing and scary all at once. It’s overwhelming. I’m overwhelmed.

They say bad news comes in threes… well when it comes to me, I believe that it comes in the tens. Stressing over money… or the lack of it, praying that I passed my teaching certification so that maybe I can get my life together and have a career, having one of your best friends pissed at you and then finding out your favorite aunt has cancer and doesn’t want to fight it and that your great-grandfather is on his last leg is a lot to handle. I think it would be a lot for anyone to handle… I don’t think it’s just me. It’s times like these where you put things into perspective. Trivial things like a fight with a friend about something that happened in the past doesn’t seem as important when you have things like death lingering around you but then again, not having that friend when you are dealing with these things brings it back around full circle where you need to take the time to fix it. I pride myself on my honesty… I think sometimes that maybe I am too honest but I think that my feelings are important. I will always believe that speaking your mind is the right thing to do, even if it hurts someone’s feelings. My friend and I currently have a difference of opinion but I think it’s important to talk about it. I think our friendship is important enough to talk it out. I suggested doing it over drinks because I’m a firm believer that the best convos happen over cocktails. There’s a little more openness and truthfulness with alcohol that make conversations a lot more real and if it leads to an argument… well, that’s ok! Because it’s ok to argue. We all know that the ones that drive you crazy are the ones that you love the most, so it’s ok to get mad and to voice how you feel but I also think it’s ok to be modest enough to apologize. Apologize and don’t ever hold a grudge… you never know when the last words you say to someone will be your last.

I believe it’s important to see both sides to an argument and to move on. I believe having solid friendships is healthy and listening will go a long way. I don’t believe in the silent treatment, but am guilty of doing it. I believe in love and I believe in bonds between the people you are closest with and that everything can be ok. I believe in happy endings.

Time to plan some Bachelorette parties… uh ohh

Ohhhhhh wedding season. A time of celebration, love, dancing… alcohol… open bars, yeah yeah you get it. They are always a blasty blast because everyone gets to let loose and dance and have fun! It’s a special time in our lives, what can I say?? This weekend was a special one for me – obviously riddled with booze, boys, and kissing but that’s not why it was special. It was special because two of my closest friends and former roommates, Lauren and Katie, asked me to be a bridesmaid in their weddings! Of course I told them both yes!! Why wouldn’t I want to jump at the chance to look ab fab in pictures that will hang in their homes forever and to get to hang out with them on one of the happiest days of their lives?!!

I told them both that someone upstairs must be out to get me because I came to a very harsh reality when they asked me… do you know that all of the people that have lived with me have gone on to get engaged/married right after we stopped living together?! If I’m not the real life Good Luck Chuck, I don’t know who is. Seriously though, I’ve lived with 4 people in my life: my college roommate, Stolze, who moved out of our place and into her boyfriend/now husband’s apartment; my ex, Sir Douchery, who is now engaged to the world’s biggest ((censorship for my G rated blog)) that he started dating conveniently right after I moved out; Katie, who got engaged on Friday night that moved to Florida right after our lease was up and got on Match.com [through my encouragement I will say] and met her now fiancé; and last but CERTAINLY not least, my most recent roomie, Lauren, got engaged to her boyfriend like the week before we moved out of our apartment. SO what I’m saying is this: if you want to get married or engaged anytime soon come live with me… it’s a gift! I called my mom to tell her about this realization and do you know what she said to me?? After that uber sweet post I wrote about her here <<click to read my kind words that I am now EATING>> she laughed and said, “What’s that saying?? Always a bridesmaid…” Really though, she said that. I was like SERIOUSLY MOM?! and she went on to tell me that my time will come and since I live by myself now that I’ll be my own good luck chuck! <- That is the support system that I have behind me… quite solid (not).

It’s funny how nothing makes you take a step back and look at your relationship status like when your friends get engaged to be married – it’s like one day we are all toasting with pickle backs as single, independent betches on the hunt and then the next, we are spending our lunch breaks on Pinterest pinning our favorite flower bouquets and wedding playlists. So when you take that step back to think about where you are and where you will be when the weddings roll around, you start to think about the plus ones. If you are single, you know what I’m talking about. Getting a wedding invitation with your name plus guest written on the envelope is the WORST (I am NOT saying I don’t want that option Lauren/Katie – it’s just a segue, OKKK?!?). Now, with that being said, I think that being a bridesmaid in the wedding gives you the best excuse for not having a date! I’ve been in my share of weddings and you are all over the place – who’s going to have enough time to hold the brides dress up so she can pee, dance to the WOBBLE and give the proper amount of attention to their date?! Answer: no one. I am just going to take it upon myself to find the other single wedding attendees and flirt my heart out – because otherwise they would be bored so really, bringing a date would just be hella rude, and I would NEVER!!

SO – congrats to two of my favorites. I’m glad that you guys found someone that will put up with all of your crap and your extremely terrible personalities. I love you both sooo sooo much and I’m so glad that you asked me to be part of your special day!1 (2)1.2 1.31.1

Haaaaavvveeee you met Ted??

I jokingly told my friend that this week, last week and next week are the worst weeks ever because all of my favorite shows are ending for the summer. New Girl, The Mindy Project, Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Hart of Dixie ((shutup)), Criminal Minds, and most importantly How I Met Your Mother all came to a close with their season finales. I want to start this off by saying that I can’t believe HIMYM has only one season left!!HIMYM gif - spew NOOO I can’t even deal with what  a wreck I’m going to be on that series finale… if it’s anything like the Friends finale, I’m going to need an entire box of Kleenex to myself. I started really getting into this show my senior year in college and as lame as this sounds (judgments expected), I feel like I really relate/know these characters. Yes, I’m aware of how incredibly lame that sounded and no I will not be taking it back! I was a little nervous with how this season ended on Monday… Lily getting ready to head to Italy for a year, Marshall is becoming a judge in NY [I SWEAR if they make their sitch out like the Jim/Pam sitch on the office I will be pissed], Ted getting ready to move to Chi town and Robin and Barney getting ready to tie the knot. The whole Robin/Barney thing is more than a little stressful to me… taming two wild, crazy and free souls might be hella hard and a bit of a stretch but whatevs – Challenge Accepted!

As a tribute to one of my favorite shows, I have decided to put together some of the things that I have come to realize/love/learn from this series. Sit back and enjoy:

–          I am Robin… well kind of… I mean, I don’t like cigars, I’m not Canadian and I want kids but other than that, yeah I’d say we are pretty similar. I get the whole being attracted to friends thing ((been there, done that)), I was a broadcast journalism major in college, I like scotch and helloooo, Robin Sparkles!? If you don’t want to be a Canadian teen pop star you are lying to me and yourself. The Robin Sparkles bit is one of my favorite features in the show so I have decided to embed my favorite tune of hers in this post, you’re welcome. The Beaver Song

–          They have the best catchphrases!!HIMYM gif - Bang Bang Bangity Bang HIMYM gif - But um HIMYM gif - Challenge Accepted HIMYM gif - Where's the poop HIMYM gif - You've been lawyered HIMYM -Legendary

–          “The Front Porch Test” – One of the best things to take away from the show… Lily tells Ted that she’s been sabo-ing {“Is sabo short for sabotage?” “You know it is, I don’t know why you have to ask that.” – sorry couldn’t help throwing in a New Girl quote from it’s season finale} his relationships because they didn’t pass the front porch test. Basically what you get from this ep is that you should NOT date someone who doesn’t get along with your group of friends.HIMYM gif - Front porch test

–          The Naked Man works 2/3 of the time

–          Barney is a genius. Pure and simple. He is my favorite person on this show for a ton of reasons that I’m sure you can guess… but one of the reasons is for his expertise/rules when it comes to dating. His hot/crazy scale is pretty solid. Barney says that a person is allowed to be crazy as long as they are equally as hot – which is good because we all have a little crazy in us.HIMYM gif - HotCrazy Scale

–          Interventions are a fantastic way to tell a friend how you really feel about their life, style, girlfriends or boyfriends, etc.HIMYM gif - Interventions

–          The last thing I’m going to put on this list is that if something – or someone –is meant to be, then it will be. Ted looks for love for NINE WHOLE SEASONS!! If that doesn’t tell you not to go looking for love, I don’t know what will. Love will happen but it’s not gonna come if you’re on a mission to find it.HIMYM gif - That's love bitch

So this is it for HIMYM <<unless you count the millions of replays on every channel imaginable>> until the fall… I can’t wait to get more details about the mother (who I was not too impressed with, might I add), see where Marshall and Lily decide to take their relationship and family, and to see the wedding of the year… so I will leave you with this YouTube link of some pretty hilarious HIMYM bloopers. “What’s that? Self five?? NICE!! We out!”HIMYM gif - Self Five

Alcohol, Flappers, and Glitter – OHMY!

thats-the-best-thing-a-girl-can-be-in-thisA movie full of huge parties full of the rich and fabulous, love triangles, and amazing clothes? Yeahh… sounds like something I could really be into. Which I was! My friend Becky and I went to see The Great Gatsby on Saturday and I was all about it! The first half of the movie was full of over the top parties with wayyyy too many people throwing themselves into a pool (why would you do that when you are dressed to the nines… makes no sense) and a sick sick playlist featuring Jay Z, Will.I.Am., and Beyoncé [which how crazy is it that Gatsby had Jay Z on his playlists in the 20s?! If that doesn’t show how ahead of the curve he was I don’t know what does!]. Those parties looked like something I would really enjoy going to… but not throwing cause it looked like a lot to clean up in the morning.GG gif

Leo was such a ‘great’ <<yeah I did that, pun INTENDED>> Gatsby – minus the “old sport” that he ended everyyyy singggleeee one of his sentences with… it really didn’t make him sound more mature or like he was born polished and with a silver spoon in his mouth or whatevs – it actually just sounded like he was doing a really bad impersonation of JFK, but then again, I guess Gatsby wasn’t born saying “old sport” either. One thing I did notice though is that Leo always has to compete with a rich, entitled douchebag in his films!! You know what I’m talking about, ya think we forgot about Cal from Titanic?Titanic pic I sure didn’t – and now he has to deal with fighting Tom Buchanan for his love’s affection? Can’t he catch a break?!tom gif Why does he always have to die and not get the girl? It’s just not the best scenarios for poor poor Leo.

I will mention the one thing that I didn’t get: I was a little confused about the fact that Nick ends up in a sanitarium after Gatsby’s death. Nick is the most rational of the group, yet he is supposedly driven insane by the cruelty and corruption of the city and the people in it?? Yeah… I don’t get that but that’s just a small blip in the amazingness that is this movie.

And don’t even get me STARTED on Daisy!! She. Is. The. WORST!!! The most selfish trick everrrr – she doesn’t even go to Gatsby’s FUNERAL. So much for her being in love with him!! But then… there was this: daisy ringand yes, I’m only talking about the ring, not how pretty this shallow whore is!

So this is what I got from this movie – the 20s upper class was all about doing things careless, fast and loud while showing off who had the biggest… Ummmm… number in the bankity bank (you guys are pervs) – getting money ((or getting paid – thank you rap music)) is the easy thing… but as usual in any book or movie we’ve seen or read, the key is that love is the hard and dangerous part of life. I knowwww, I just took you for a ride to SHOCKTOWN I’m sure [and no I didn’t drive like an effin idiot like Gatsby did in that movie]… but it’s true – darn those matters of the heart. It might just be the death of all of us.

GG2Were you even aware that selfies were all the rage in the 20s?! I didn’t but HEYYOOO, Daisy and Gatsby were trendsetters, as you can see, so it must be true!gg parties