The Way We Were…

When I started to tell people about what happened between myself and my FWB, everyone was super quick to be like, “What a douche!” or “He is such a jerk!”imagesouche But let’s be serious… I would never date a douche or a jerk… he’s my best friend and I honestly believe he’s an amazing guy. I always wonder why our first go to when you hear someone got dumped is to talk crap about their ex. I’m even guilty of doing it but after this recent departure, I’ve realized it’s not helpful. Not in the least. It’s already enough that you go from being in a “relationship” ((I use that term loosely in my case)) and having a best friend and then just like that, they’re your ex or somebody in your past. Their role in your life changes overnight and who wants to hear about what a douche he was by friends that are trying to make you feel better? Answer: NOT ME. It’s not the truth so why would I want to hear that nonsense?

Nothing takes away the initial sting of rejection. It has been about a month since my “break-up” and I’m trying to bounce back as well as I can. I had that week’s span ((ehhh maybe two weeks)) where I was selfish watching rom-coms  and feeling sorry for myself… it felt like I was admitting defeat and it hurt… I had the “Heyyyyy… maybe time will make him come to his senses” thoughts too, but now I’m trying to move on with my daily and meet guys that want to be with me. After I sat back and reflected on this relationship and past relationships, I knew that I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was pre-breakup. I complained about him not wanting to spend time with me, I went to sleep pissed because of numerous random things, and I was jealous of my friends and their relationships that had elements that mine didn’t. I mean when it comes down to it with break-ups, anyone who can walk away from you should be with someone else anyway. Why waste time hoping he’ll come to his senses?  I know that I can do better… it’s tough watching tv shows and rom-coms where at the end, they get back together and live happily ever after because that is not how it works. If I’m wrong, puuuhhhllleaasseeee let me know. I mean obv there are random exceptions (Carrie and Big) but I’m pretty positive that I am not the exception. I watched a TON (as I mentioned above) of these movies… I also put some time in with movies where there’s a break-up and then the bestie comes up from nowhere and professes their undying love and they live happily ever after and let’s not forget the one where the girl loves the guy and waits around for 74839472 years for the guy to bone any and everything that walks to finally figure out that he loves her (ONE DAY). Basically what I’m telling you is that I tortured myself for two weeks with this crap. PEOPLEEEEEE there is not ONE THING satisfying about sitting around and waiting for someone. What is the matter with us?? Or Hollywood, for that matter, producing nonsense like that? If you are doing something like this, stop it!! I’m telling you to cut it OUT!!marniebreakup You can’t spend your life waiting or worrying about another person or looking for their permission to be happy and to move on. :::NEWSFLASH::: I just tried that… for over a year and a half and was rewarded with nothing more than a broken heart. IT SUCKS and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy… actually I would, but that’s because she’s a bitch and married my ex-boyfriend but that’s a whole other story… your only responsibility is to yourself and to find someone who makes you happy and feel loved. Even on The Mindy Project season finale yesterday this ish is happening… Mindy tried a relationship with her best friend, it failed, he was trying to get her back and she didn’t know it so while she was having a heart to heart she told Danny that he was right when he said that “guys don’t break up with girls they secretly want to be with.” Helloooo – we all just need to realize this is true… a lot of talking goes down while you are getting dumped but the end all, regardless of what’s being said is that they’re STILL BREAKING UP WITH YOU!! While you might feel like crap the first month after a break-up, I promise it gets better.hangoutallthetime

And if you want to go out with the last word I recommend you throw out this quote from one of my FAVORITES from my cry fest a couple of weeks ago, The Way We Were… Hubbell is in the process of breaking up with Katie when she says, “You’ll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or love you as much!” I mean they still break-up but it’s a good one… and I felt that way with my last break-up… should have watched this damn movie again before we talked J Oh well, at least you’ll be prepared to get the last word in and leave them wondering what could have been.


Oh the mistakes I make…

Our twenties are a time where we are supposed to go out on a limb. Step outside of our element… experience exciting opportunities that we won’t be able to experience when we are married with 2.5 kids living in suburbia USA. I am trying to live these 20s of mine to the fullest as you can probably tell from the posts on my blog. So remember that time ((about two weeks ago)) when I told you about a little thing called Tinder? Well Tinder bit me in the butt. Left teeth marks, the whole shebang! But since I have such a good sense of humor I’m going to share my horror stories with you guys. We can laugh together because I was laughing while it happened, why not give you guys a few chuckles at my expense?! That guy I told you about… the one that had a littleeeeee problem Image errrrr…. Producing?? Yeah, you know the guy. Well things sorta died down so I was back to just juggling one guy again. Boring, right? YES. ((I’m going to try to keep this one guy off of my blog, apparently it’s bad luck to talk about my guys on here so you will just have to keep an open mind and believe that he is straight gorgeyyyy)) So… me being the moron that I am, gets back on Tinder – I took a timeout from the app when I had two solid perspectives in my boat – and I start talking to this new guy. He was cool, funny, had his ish together too… or so it seemed. Well, on Saturday night he asked me if I wanted to have a chill night and come watch a movie. It was a lonnnnnngggg Saturday spent in a gym so a relaxing night with male company sounded fantastic so I was like sure thang, send me the address and I will come over after I shower! He was like great! Come on over. I start driving and I’m like huhhhh… this is the same way I go to Jon’s house ((TINDER prospect #1 that had the little problem))…  I keep driving, listening to Miley’s new cd on replay <#icantstop>Image and then my gps is like you have arrived. Oh I had arrived alright… AT JON’S HOUSE!!!! I was like holy hell there is no way! I believe I told you he owned restaurants and clothing stores, etc. in my previous post and that he had a pretty nice living. Well what I failed to mention was that he recently allowed three of his cousins move into a few of his spare rooms. I met two out of the three cousins on previous visits… the third I never met. Welp, jokes on me because I was about to! Sooo, I drive past his house and pull into a school a mile up the road and immediately call my best friend Lisa. I was dyiinnnngggg laughing when I called her and I was like you are not going to believe what is happening. I told her the sitch and she was like this would only happen to you! Then of course she asked what I was going to do. I went with the honesty route. I called him ((WITH Lisa on the call {{he got the three-way phone call attack, thanks Mean Girls}} because she wouldn’t let me hang up with her – she wanted to hear the hilarity as it went down)) Imageand I go “Ummmm slight problem… are you Jonathan’s cousin?” He paused for TEN SECONDS – I am not kidding you guys… It felt like forevvverrrr – and he goes “Yeah, why?” I then proceeded to  tell him that I dated his cousin… needless to say I drove myself right on home and did not stop in to say hello to the two. Turns out he really didn’t know that Jon and I had seen each other and he had a pretty good sense of humor too! We laughed about it and joked about meeting again in another life (yeahhhh rightttt) and moved on. SO, I get it. Lesson learned! I will stop trying to juggle… I’m at a good place with #GuyA [that’s how I will refer to him from now on so he stays anonymous and I don’t jinx my relationship] so I’m just going to play it out and try not to eff it up, which I tend to do more often than not. I hope this was as amusing to you as it was to the rest of my friends… I’m going to post some screenshots from that night below. Until next time…ImageImagephoto 1

A Man’s World – No, no, no, it’s not.

Tonight, my brother’s girlfriend dyed my hair. This is something I felt I needed to say because I am such a prude when it comes to change. I never everrrrr take chances on my hair or anything look wise, really. If something ain’t broke, why fix it? Ya know? Well I took a chance and dyed my hair… nothing drastic, I’m not that bold, but I took it a shade or two darker… baby steps… and it looks ab fab! Not gonna lie, I’m a happy camper. The hair dying is just a segue into the real reason I’m writing this blog… after my hair affair my big brother, better known as Dr. Phil, enlightened Brie and I on the mind of a male. I’m going to ask you guys this: When you think of going to a drive-in movie what do you think? My mind immediately jumps to Grease ((which now that I’m thinking of it – – Danny definitely tried to cop a feel))Grease-Drive-In-Movie my friend Jackie’s went to Twister but my brother said his and every straight male’s mind goes straight to sex. Here is his first quote of the night: “It’s one of those things people do to say you’ve done it. Just because it’s ON THAT LIST. Who goes to the drive in and doesn’t try to hit it? It’s like going to New York and not going to Time Square. It’s Time Square, you’ve gotta go even though you know it’s weak, that’s just how it works.” His girlfriend and I were arguing that you could go to a drive in without being sexual. He disagreed. As much as I hate to admit he’s right, he brought up many valid points. He compared it to the list of places people bone just because you can say you did it there. Like the beach or a pool or an airplane… Here’s another little dialogue that went down:

Marques: Why do you think people try to hook up on an airplane? They flew out of the same house together, slept with each other… are going to a hotel room to sleep with each other in that city but they still try to sleep together in the bathroom? Why do you think they’re doing that?

Brie: The Mile High Club.

Marques: Thank you. Exactly, thank you! Certain things are on the list of checkpoints that guys have to do.

He then started in on the single life in Atlanta… saying that as a single attractive woman your game has got to be up in Atlanta. The competition is different… it’s higher. In Alabama, he said it’s like competing for the high school team but in Atlanta, you’re competing for the ALL STAR TEAM. It’s like the prettiest girls from all of those small towns come here. Now what? It’s like who’s going to shine here? There are more girls, more beautiful women.

Dating is hard worknot dating is hard… kinda dating is hard, everything is hardpost-16031-Thats-What-She-Said-gif-Imgur-0WsL

Guys are physical. Big brother’s advice to me? Stay on point. When you don’t put in the work, there are 20 million of women that will, he said. Personally, I’m more of a t-shirt and nike shorts kind of girl so the being on point thing…  yeahhhhhh that’s something I definitely need to work on. And I think I will… I’m going to give Dr. Phil’s advice (and I have a 20 minute voice recording of it – this was some real therapy ish, I promise) a real go at it! What I’ve been doing obviously hasn’t been working so why not try taking advice from a guy that has never had to pursue a woman in his life. I’m going to give myself a makeover… the prettier version of me is going to hit the scene in Atlanta in pursuit of my dream guy. First step: getting back in shape. I gotta feel better about myself first, right? It all starts on Wednesday… primarily because I hate Monday’s and Tuesday’s are crazy days for me soooo Wednesday it is! Wish me luck 😉

I know… But I’m back

It’s been a while. I’ve been lazy guys. Really effin lazy. I started a new job and things got a little chaotic for a second but now that I’ve gotten the hang of everything I think I can get back to the important things… aka this ab fab blog. We are just going to call the past two months a creative hiatus. A time away from writing where I could figure my ish

For my first blog back from my creative time out I think I should let you have a glimpse back into my love life. It’s usually a big hit…. Primarily because my love life is such a freakin disaster that everyone is amused by my mistakes. Well ladies and gents… I will not disappoint! I am full of stories and blunders, I promise.

Have you heard of a little thing called Tinder? imagesWell when my friend first showed me the app on the way to an engagement party… irony at its finest, I know. Here’s how it works: swipe right if you think the guy is hot, swipe left if you don’t. It’s as simple as that. It’s a superficial little game that I am completely obsessed with. If I swipe right for a guy and he swipes right as well then we get to have a little chatski. Now not all the guys you come across on this handy little app are dateable. But that’s why it allows you to chat- you can assess the sitch and exchange numbers or block them from talking to you ever again. So after spending six hours a day on the addictive little app, I’ve had a ton of dates. photoA few really solid ones! Let me tell you about a few of them:

My first ever Tinder guy took me to a Falcons game. It was hands down, the best first date I have ever been on. He was the perfect gentleman, GORGEOUS, athletic… yeah total package… we even went out with the Falcons players after the game. Why am I not still talking to him? Well, I am… but he lives in Texas sooooo there’s that. Not a whole lot coming from it. BUT embarrassing Katie moment?? Anyone?? Here it is – when he told me his name ((before our date)) I googled him, because what else is someone with internet access supposed to do with that information?! Well I came across some pictures and one was a pic of him and his adorable niece. Welp, in one of our amazing convos we were talking about our nieces and nephews and he pulls out THE pic of him and his niece and I was like “Awwww yeah, I saw that on your Tinder profile, she’s so cute!” I thought I was being sooo sweet until he said, “This picture isn’t on my profile.” Ummm… whoopsiesss CAUGHT! I played it off pretty well and we moved on but here is just a little word of advice: the whole internet stalking thing? Yeah… we all do it, just don’t get caught!

Next I went on a few random meetups over drinks that didn’t go anywhere but to guys in my phone that I occasionally text or snapchat with.IMG_1140[1]

But now, the success story… well success-ish. I met this guy a little over a month ago on Tinder. He is good looking, successful, funny and just an all-around good guy. He’s a sweet guy and I really enjoy being around him. He’s 33 and he has his shit together. Which is a far cry from the typical frat-tastic guys I usually attract. Everything was going fine and dandy up until last week… we decided to try (((KEY WORD GUYS))) to take our relationship to the next level… you know what level I’m referring to, no need to spell it out. Let me get right into the story. I was having a rough day on Thursday… it was long, progress report grades were due in, I had meetings all morning, and to end it all we had two volleyball matches – both of which we lost. It was just a rough night. Well he offered to go get me dinner from one of his restaurants (yes, he owns restaurants… right up my alley since I am a closeted fat girl) and bring it back to his house so I could unwind. He even offered up a massage [one that I definitely cashed in and was surprisingly satisfied by how amazing it was – he went all out! Lotion and everything… and yes it was JUST a massage, you dirty FUHHHREAKSSS] to make me feel better. I got to his sick house and ate a delicious dinner from his restaurant and settled in to watch The New Atlanta. ((THIS is a whole other story – please don’t watch that show… it’s embarrassing that our city is being portrayed by these nobodies… EXCEPT our friend Tribble – who isn’t doing himself any favors by being on it)) We laughed and watched the show, cuddled… one thing led to another and next thing I know we are up in his room. Everything was fine and dandy until we hit a minor snag… he had a little bitty problem seeing as he’s on anxiety meds :/ I tried to make light of the sitch and laugh it off and say it was ok but I know he was so embarrassed… well ever since that night things have cooled off between us. We still text every day but I haven’t seen him in 8 days (not that I’m keeping track… I’m such an embarrassment)… hopefully I can reassure him that all is ok… That it’s no big deal and I’m still interested because he is a freakin goodddddd prospect. I will keep you updated because I know that’s what you want 🙂 I’ve missed you all and I’m going to leave you with some pics from the past two months to let you know that nothing has changed since I’ve become a teacher… I’m still fun y’all, I promise!IMG_0505 IMG_0537 IMG_0660 IMG_0765 IMG_0811 IMG_1053

It’s Ok… I think

“I hate everyone near our age that is married… or happily dating.” – My bestie Becky (THIS week)

One of my favorite Tumblr pages is “#MyFriendsAreMarried (And I’m 25 and Single)” [[Check it out, it’s a laugh fest every week]] and since I am turning 25 in January the site is hitting even closer to home than usual. I’d like to start by saying I have a confession. I have been lying to everyone <and myself> when I say that I’m freaking out about turning 25. Honestly, I’m kind of looking forward to 25. It’s the perfect age.  I can rent a car without those a holes jacking up the price, it’s the age where the youngsters look up to me and the age where I can offer up all kinds of advice on being in your early 20s to those 21 and 22 year olds that constantly ask me questions. I like being respected and looked up to and that’s what 25 is to me. But 25 is also the age where for whatever reason society starts throwing balls of pressure straight at your baby box and it starts to get a little stressful.

This past year I have thrown myself into the deep end of the dating pool and with A LOT of unsuccessful attempts at relationships I have decided to let you guys know why being single isn’t the worst thing ever. Now, I won’t try to pretend that I don’t miss the intimacy of being in a relationship but I am REALLY enjoying the single life. So here we go…

  • I’ve said it before and I will say it again… my life is crazy. I have told my friends that “I don’t even have time for a boyfriend” and I hated saying it. It sounds like a cop out… a big fat one… but as I said it I realized I meant it. Seriously, how do people in relationships work in a boyfriend along with work and extracurriculars?? I barely have time to see my friends between all of my jobs… Can you imagine having to see someone all the time?! No thanks… FREE TIME is a must!
  • Speaking of seeing my friends this is another reason why I’m glad I’m not in a relationship. There’s more time to spend with my GIRLFRIENDS when I’m single. I love my besties more than anything because guys don’t typically take as well to my sassy smart aleck text messages when I need to vent about CERTAIN issues that seem to happen daily.
  • Would you like to know what I am good at? Sports and flirting. Sports can never be taken away from me but FLIRTING gets downgraded when you’re in a relationship. Sure you can flirt with your better half but really… where’s the excitement in that? You’ve already hooked him so the game isn’t quite as exciting. I feel like I’m betraying the art of flirting when I’m in a ‘ship so right now I am letting all of my creativity flow.
  • Random make outs. There… I said it. I’m not telling anyone to do it but my point is that you CAN do it when you aren’t in a relationship. The option is there — do with it as you please.
  • Who doesn’t want to go home, drink a glass of wine and catch up on your latest tv shows after having a long day ((or week)) of work? – me, last night but you can’t do that when you have roommates OR a boyfriend. Because that would be incredibly selfish to remove them from those ideal nights. Because what if he had a crappy day too? Then you have to lend him a sympathetic (I lack this quality) ear for him to share his feelings and tell you about what went wrong with his day and your relaxing evening is thrown out the window. Sorry to be BLUNT but your needs are at a minimum when you are in a relationship. You have to take the other persons emotions into consideration and at this point in my life I am entirely too selfish to do so.
  • Also, your day can’t be ruined by some ridiculous argument that sparked over some LITTLE THING. You can never be cheated on when you are single. Or your day can’t be ruined by a text message… or maybe no message as a response to your text. You have nobody to check in with or explain to why you didn’t text him goodnight when you crawled in from the bars at 3 in the morning (can you tell some of this might be personal experiences… starting to see them as a LITTLE unhealthy relationships). You can take impromptu road trips to see your best friends in Miami {yeah I’m looking at you Courtney} or maybe to go see your favorite Green Bayers {Katy and Erin} . These things have to be thought out when you are in a relationship… the unexplained isn’t an option unless you aren’t in a relationship. There is no obligation to another person. You get to answer to yourself! That’s one of the best parts of being single.

This is it… and I think that these are pretty substantial reasons as to why being single kicks A! I’ll keep on trying these theories… don’t worry, I don’t mind being the test dummy.