Moving on?

I have been on a forced writing hiatus. One that I took to figure my ish out… I wanted to give myself time to find myself, and figure out what to do with my life. Do you know what I realized? I am absolutely full of it if I think I’m going to get it figured out right now. I am now a firm believer that anyone who claims that they have their shit together in their 20’s is completely full of it. Legit. I live a life, a good life, that is full of struggles but I’m trying to just learn to relax. I think that I am exactly where I am supposed to be… that in itself is terrifying, but it is my reality.

The reason why I tried to get it together is because I am 26. I think that is naturally the age where you  can’t help but dissect and analyze just about everything in your life. So let’s take my love life for example. You guys, I’m sure, have loved to read about the chaos and nonsense I go through (or put myself through) with the men in my life and do not worry, I am not about to disappoint. That “guy friend” that I refer to so often on my blog, is no longer an issue. I did ((FINALLY)) have the “why aren’t we together talk” with him where we both confessed our feelings for each other – gag-a-rama, I KNOW – but embarrassingly enough, nothing changed. I mean, I thought we were together… Ish… but then I told him I would wait for him to figure out what exactly he wanted. Why?? Who the HELL knows what the EFF was going through my dumb, moronic mind when I said that, but it was legit almost two months since that conversation and nothing was different except we talked on the phone, texted more often, and occasionally saw each other on week days. It was like I was investing all of this time and emotion into someone who has never really taken me out or let me into his life. We got into this comfortable routine and it became apparent that more wasn’t even an option. Can you blame him? He’s getting both the emotional and physical benefits of being in a relationship without doing any work or really committing to me. What guy do you know is going to be like “Wowwww, this is all way too easy… please challenge me and make me work to get you interested and actually have a REAL relationship.” Psssshhhh… the answer is none. I had a hard time trying to change the tone of this relationship without being needy/clingy and overbearing. It’s super easy for a guy to find another girl who will make it easy for them, I think, so did I really want to push the issue? My mind said no but my heart wanted the commitment. My older brother told me that I was wasting my time… That he will never commit to me and I needed to move on but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know that my happiness does not depend on one man and that he probably does not matter as much as I think he might, but I wasn’t ready to let go of the hope that one day it would all just click into place and we would know exactly what we had been waiting for. I’m just a hopeless romantic that way… gross. <<Lisa, I am ashamed that I wrote that previous sentence but rules are rules and once it’s down, it stays.>> Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. We had the talk again ((VIA TEXTTTTTT – can you believe that ish?)) and it didn’t exactly go the way I thought it would. He said that while he had feelings for me, he felt like something was missing. That he didn’t want to sacrifice our friendship in the hope that we would work out. It hurts… it does, but I deserve better than what I’ve gotten the past year and a half. I deserve to have a guy that loves me for me and that looks forward to the time they get to spend with me and doesn’t feel like it’s forced. Fortunately for me, I had spring break last week and was able to take some time to wallow and to begin to move on… then to wrap up the weekend, I was in my best friend’s wedding. Where we not only drank our little hearts out, there were a plethora of hot single guys for me to flirt with… oorrrrr drunkenly make out with ((shhhhhh don’t judge))… Lisa told me that the guy I met [[who, btws, has been texting me nonstop since Saturday]] is the ultimate rebound guy. She told me that she was rewarding me with the “Best Rebound of the Year” award and I am flattered 😉

Ok well I’m not even really sure where to take this post after that ridiculous comment so I’m going to stop while I’m behind… it’s embarrassing but the first sign of moving on is acceptance so here we go… you guys have a fantastic week and I will be back with an update soon… two month off es no bueno, but I will not make the promise to do better, I will just make the promise to try 🙂

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Oh the mistakes I make…

Our twenties are a time where we are supposed to go out on a limb. Step outside of our element… experience exciting opportunities that we won’t be able to experience when we are married with 2.5 kids living in suburbia USA. I am trying to live these 20s of mine to the fullest as you can probably tell from the posts on my blog. So remember that time ((about two weeks ago)) when I told you about a little thing called Tinder? Well Tinder bit me in the butt. Left teeth marks, the whole shebang! But since I have such a good sense of humor I’m going to share my horror stories with you guys. We can laugh together because I was laughing while it happened, why not give you guys a few chuckles at my expense?! That guy I told you about… the one that had a littleeeeee problem Image errrrr…. Producing?? Yeah, you know the guy. Well things sorta died down so I was back to just juggling one guy again. Boring, right? YES. ((I’m going to try to keep this one guy off of my blog, apparently it’s bad luck to talk about my guys on here so you will just have to keep an open mind and believe that he is straight gorgeyyyy)) So… me being the moron that I am, gets back on Tinder – I took a timeout from the app when I had two solid perspectives in my boat – and I start talking to this new guy. He was cool, funny, had his ish together too… or so it seemed. Well, on Saturday night he asked me if I wanted to have a chill night and come watch a movie. It was a lonnnnnngggg Saturday spent in a gym so a relaxing night with male company sounded fantastic so I was like sure thang, send me the address and I will come over after I shower! He was like great! Come on over. I start driving and I’m like huhhhh… this is the same way I go to Jon’s house ((TINDER prospect #1 that had the little problem))…  I keep driving, listening to Miley’s new cd on replay <#icantstop>Image and then my gps is like you have arrived. Oh I had arrived alright… AT JON’S HOUSE!!!! I was like holy hell there is no way! I believe I told you he owned restaurants and clothing stores, etc. in my previous post and that he had a pretty nice living. Well what I failed to mention was that he recently allowed three of his cousins move into a few of his spare rooms. I met two out of the three cousins on previous visits… the third I never met. Welp, jokes on me because I was about to! Sooo, I drive past his house and pull into a school a mile up the road and immediately call my best friend Lisa. I was dyiinnnngggg laughing when I called her and I was like you are not going to believe what is happening. I told her the sitch and she was like this would only happen to you! Then of course she asked what I was going to do. I went with the honesty route. I called him ((WITH Lisa on the call {{he got the three-way phone call attack, thanks Mean Girls}} because she wouldn’t let me hang up with her – she wanted to hear the hilarity as it went down)) Imageand I go “Ummmm slight problem… are you Jonathan’s cousin?” He paused for TEN SECONDS – I am not kidding you guys… It felt like forevvverrrr – and he goes “Yeah, why?” I then proceeded to  tell him that I dated his cousin… needless to say I drove myself right on home and did not stop in to say hello to the two. Turns out he really didn’t know that Jon and I had seen each other and he had a pretty good sense of humor too! We laughed about it and joked about meeting again in another life (yeahhhh rightttt) and moved on. SO, I get it. Lesson learned! I will stop trying to juggle… I’m at a good place with #GuyA [that’s how I will refer to him from now on so he stays anonymous and I don’t jinx my relationship] so I’m just going to play it out and try not to eff it up, which I tend to do more often than not. I hope this was as amusing to you as it was to the rest of my friends… I’m going to post some screenshots from that night below. Until next time…ImageImagephoto 1

A Man’s World – No, no, no, it’s not.

Tonight, my brother’s girlfriend dyed my hair. This is something I felt I needed to say because I am such a prude when it comes to change. I never everrrrr take chances on my hair or anything look wise, really. If something ain’t broke, why fix it? Ya know? Well I took a chance and dyed my hair… nothing drastic, I’m not that bold, but I took it a shade or two darker… baby steps… and it looks ab fab! Not gonna lie, I’m a happy camper. The hair dying is just a segue into the real reason I’m writing this blog… after my hair affair my big brother, better known as Dr. Phil, enlightened Brie and I on the mind of a male. I’m going to ask you guys this: When you think of going to a drive-in movie what do you think? My mind immediately jumps to Grease ((which now that I’m thinking of it – – Danny definitely tried to cop a feel))Grease-Drive-In-Movie my friend Jackie’s went to Twister but my brother said his and every straight male’s mind goes straight to sex. Here is his first quote of the night: “It’s one of those things people do to say you’ve done it. Just because it’s ON THAT LIST. Who goes to the drive in and doesn’t try to hit it? It’s like going to New York and not going to Time Square. It’s Time Square, you’ve gotta go even though you know it’s weak, that’s just how it works.” His girlfriend and I were arguing that you could go to a drive in without being sexual. He disagreed. As much as I hate to admit he’s right, he brought up many valid points. He compared it to the list of places people bone just because you can say you did it there. Like the beach or a pool or an airplane… Here’s another little dialogue that went down:

Marques: Why do you think people try to hook up on an airplane? They flew out of the same house together, slept with each other… are going to a hotel room to sleep with each other in that city but they still try to sleep together in the bathroom? Why do you think they’re doing that?

Brie: The Mile High Club.

Marques: Thank you. Exactly, thank you! Certain things are on the list of checkpoints that guys have to do.

He then started in on the single life in Atlanta… saying that as a single attractive woman your game has got to be up in Atlanta. The competition is different… it’s higher. In Alabama, he said it’s like competing for the high school team but in Atlanta, you’re competing for the ALL STAR TEAM. It’s like the prettiest girls from all of those small towns come here. Now what? It’s like who’s going to shine here? There are more girls, more beautiful women.

Dating is hard worknot dating is hard… kinda dating is hard, everything is hardpost-16031-Thats-What-She-Said-gif-Imgur-0WsL

Guys are physical. Big brother’s advice to me? Stay on point. When you don’t put in the work, there are 20 million of women that will, he said. Personally, I’m more of a t-shirt and nike shorts kind of girl so the being on point thing…  yeahhhhhh that’s something I definitely need to work on. And I think I will… I’m going to give Dr. Phil’s advice (and I have a 20 minute voice recording of it – this was some real therapy ish, I promise) a real go at it! What I’ve been doing obviously hasn’t been working so why not try taking advice from a guy that has never had to pursue a woman in his life. I’m going to give myself a makeover… the prettier version of me is going to hit the scene in Atlanta in pursuit of my dream guy. First step: getting back in shape. I gotta feel better about myself first, right? It all starts on Wednesday… primarily because I hate Monday’s and Tuesday’s are crazy days for me soooo Wednesday it is! Wish me luck 😉