Time to get Real

I feel like getting a little sentimental with this post so let’s talk plans. Everyone has a plan. When I was younger I had my life figured out. I got boy crazy at around 12 so I figured by 16, I would have a pretty good idea of what direction I was going to head in. Man, was I wrong, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my life! I thought by 18, I would have my major decided and career picked out, be in a serious relationship by 21 and then at 24, I would be getting married and at 26 I would be ready for children. Let me tell you, that’s not how it has gone down and honestly, the thought of having a little mini me is terrifying. The only think I got right was that I was in a serious relationship – that ended – when I was 21.

Last night I went out and grabbed drinks with my friend Lisa and over some wine and wings, we were talking about our past relationships and how disappointing they were during the fact but after we learned a lot. I’ve had about three serious relationships in my life and none of them have worked out. I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be ok. All of the guys I’ve dated have helped shape me into the person I’ve become. One boyfriend turned out to be super controlling, but while we were together, he told me I was perfect. He made me feel like the most beautiful and special person alive and even though it didn’t end well, in those few years we were together, I felt truly loved and it helped me become more secure in my own body and confident in the woman that I needed to become. Another one of my boyfriend’s broke me out of my shell. He let me be me. He let me be funny (or try to be) and encouraged me to be independent. After that relationship, I moved to Atlanta without any friends and haven’t looked back once. Every single one of those failed relationships has taught me something and has pushed me towards whatever or whoever is waiting for me. And although I resent a lot of the things that took place in those relationships, I’m thankful for those morons that have helped get me ready for that one special person that 16 year old me thought I would have already met. I am going to do my best to achieve my goals and better my life with the new plan that I have put together at 25. I’m not going to write it down or share it with you fools because duh, everyone knows once you say it out loud it won’t come true. Just know that for better or worse, I’m in control of my own outcome.

Child’s Play

He’s Just Not That Into You. I have referenced this movie before and I’m about to do it again… deal with it. I don’t know why I can’t take my own damn advice. I got home from a long day in the gym on Saturday and decided to watch one of my favorite rom(notso)coms and see if maybe the 7^th times a charm and I would learn something. As all of you know, the movie starts at the playground. The little boy pushes the girl and the girl runs to her mom crying and her mom tells her that the guys only doing it because he likes her. This is where it starts. You can see it on the little girl’s face –  Does this guy like me? Do I even like him? Where do we go from here? All of those questions that I still ask myself in my mid-20s. I’m still acting like a child on the playground when it comes to guys AS AN ADULT. I feel like those stupid pinching, making fun of the person we like, pushing games we played as kids are still in play now.

Take this weekend <and every freakin weekend for the past month> with the guy I’m interested in for instance. As you have probably gathered by now, there’s this guy I like… ((all bad stories start like this I feel like… here’s your warning)) and he makes me nervous in a way that a guy hasn’t in a while.  He taps into this super nerdy side of me that thinks he’s fantastic and cool and wants him to think I’m fantastic and super cool too. So whenever I am around him I assume that it’s hella obvious that I’m trying to do or say something that will make him laugh or catch his interest so I try not to. [Now bear with me because I have to try to break down that sentence because after reading it myself it doesn’t make the most sense.] I’m just going to throw out some of the things I’ve been doing the last few weekends that my friends – Beckkkyyyyyy… Laurennnn… – have said is me being mean to the poor schmuck to explain that. Examples include but are not limited to: Ignoring him (which basically I do because I don’t want him to think I’m way too eager to see/talk to him – Hellooooo, girls not desperate!), Flirting with other guys (Orrrrr… like this weekend inviting another guy that I’ve been interested in in the past along… clearly I ((and every other single person I know)) only do this ish so it’s obvious that other people are interested in us too),  Not reaching out via text or when I do text him making sure  it’s clear that it’s a group thing (Look, I’m not trying to be completely vulnerable, I’ve  taken steps. It’s his freakin turn!!),  and making jokes at his expense (Ok, now this is something I just can’t fight… Lauren and Becky both told me this weekend that I was being mean and needed to stop picking on him but I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. My smart mouth has a mind of its own – I have no control and I apologize). Now as I’m looking over those few things I’ve been doing and running our encounters and conversations through my mind, obv I’m saying to myself “What the hell was I thinking? Better yet, what the hell am I doing?” I mean, REALLY!? I’m 25 years old and when I’m intimidated by a guy I basically run up to him, hit him and run away. See?? I still haven’t grown past elementary school ish when it comes to dating! Any other guy comes along that isn’t him and I’m cool as a cucumber (Ew, cool as a cucumber? That’s totally something Becky would say, I’m sorry but once it’s typed it stays) and talkative and super comfortable but when it comes to him I am a hot flippin mess. He just has this……. Something that I can’t even deal. Friday night, the guy had on a plain white tee and jeans and rocked the hell out of them like he was freakin Adam Levine – which only contributes to the unfairness of this whole sitch. Really though, how is it possible that he’s so hot in a white t that he no doubt threw on walking out the door? It’s not fair and THAT is what I’m working with people. I know, I know… I just need to grow up and graduate from playground days and fall into the dating norms like everyone else seems to have done and be a little less cryptic in my attempts… Yeah right… easier said written than done.

Love is in the aiiirrrrr… nope, just my neighbors smoking weed again

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!

I’m sure it will come as no surprise to anyone that I think Valentine’s Day is stupid. No, these aren’t the rantings of a single girl complaining that it’s sooooooo depressing, and I’m not saying it’s pathetic or a “Hallmark Holiday.” I’m just pretty sure that you are able to show the people in your life that you love, your affection every single day without wasting your hard earned money on flowers that are going to die in three days anyways.

– I should probably throw in that I hate getting flowers… honestly stopped talking to a guy because he had flowers sent to me with a card that said “Hope you had fun with camp this week. Have a good day! Chris.” True story, the card is still on our fridge ((my roommate and I like to call it the icebox of shame, where all-of-the-stupid-things-that-guys-I-talk-to-do-or-say are laid to rest)). – My family really doesn’t get my dislike of flowers and my grandmother tells this story of me dumping a guy for sending flowers to all of her church friends… it’s a bit ridic – and absurd that she thinks this is the only reason I cut the cord but I let her find humor in my love life the same way I let you guys, I am of the generous sort, what can I say?

But hey, if you are a valentine’s day nut job, I won’t be trying to take that away from you. I’m just going to say that since valentine’s day is a day of love [and I obv love myself more than anyone else] I’m going to celebrate!! If I was really the boss betch that I claimed to be… I would rally up my fellow singles, go out, get shlammered and pick me up a couple of hotties – but since I’m not I will be going to volleyball practice (As Erin stated: “Your one true love”) and then I will head home to bring out the chocolate, wine and my favorite romantic comedies and go to town!! So fellow singles, zip up those complaints and party it up – celebrate your one true love… yourself <<sorry that sounds way more profound and deep than I wanted it to>>

Here’s a little video to give you a few laughs:

Hey, It’s Ok!

I need to blog more often. The past few weeks haven’t been very eventful in my life and I apologize – I will up the ante this weekend and come up with some awesome material. For right now though, I thought that I would take a page from Glamour magazine and run with it. I’m a journaler (as if you couldn’t put that together since I write a blog) and throughout college I would write down some of my favorite quotes from Glamour’s “Hey, It’s OK!” articles. I came across my notebook when I was cleaning a few weeks ago and I thought I would share some of my favs and add a few of my own to brighten your week! I hope you enjoy these as much as I do.

HEY, IT’S OK…

To ask your friends for advice and do the complete opposite.

To know that when you say, “don’t tell anyone,” they will tell at least someone.

To laugh at your own jokes. They’re hi-larious!

To say you’re allergic to mayonnaise, cigarettes, onions, etc. you get the gist 😉

To actually say “hashtag” in conversation.

To say bullshizz to women who say they are independent modern and claim they don’t want to get married. ((whatevs – more guys for us.))

To let it go to voicemail and text them back.

To wear last night’s make up to today’s work.

To not like orange juice unless it has champagne in it.

To be a little bit offended if he’s not trying to jump your bones every single time you get undressed.

To start your to-do list with a task you’ve already done.

To begin thinking about lunch as soon as you walk into work.

To wear leggings as pants.

To still be embarrassed to buy tampons from a male cashier.

To love your best friends in spite of their flaws because you will need them to love you in spite of yours… a lot.

To not turn that frown upside down.

To shove it in the closet and consider your place cleaned.

To support gay right 110 percent, while simultaneously wishing you had the power to turn hot guys who turn out to be gay… straight.

To quickly edit your medicine cabinet before people come over.

To step take a leap of faith on a guy.

To be nervous that your future kid will be just like you when they grow up.

To not be into this going Dutch, I’ll pay for my own half BS, on dates.

To absolutely hate seeing girls run with their hair down – what the hell do you think you’re doing?!

So this is my list of things it’s ok to feel… did I leave any off? Do you have any to add?? Feel free to add some of yours in the comments below.

Housewife in Training

Thought I’d post pics from Becky’s Bday this weekend.Someone wife this girl up quick – she’ll bake and cook in heels and an apron