Some Girl(s)

My Redbox selection for this rainy Sunday was too appropriate for my mood. I rented the movie Some Girl(s) to watch on my couch, while munching on pizza, and sipping lemonade – I live the most exciting life of anyone you know – and as most movies do after I’ve had a long lonnnnggg weekend, it made me think a little deeper into the meaning behind the film. Let me give you a little background on this movie: it’s a screenplay turned indie film about a guy that is jet-setting across the US to meet up with his five ex-girlfriends that most impacted his life. He’s doing this to clear the air and make amends before he gets married. <<<I’m going to stop right there and say that if my fiancé says he wants to do this before our wedding, I’m going to say hell-to-the-NO! This guy is like making out with his exes and junk, ummm no. Not gonna fly, sir.>>> SOOO – the women in this movie are incredibly strong and defiant and pretty justified in their stances with this guy. The playwright is basically using this movie to hold men responsible for being assholes to women… for hurting women and not really having a great reason as to why… except that they just do. Also, all of the girls have guy names and the man doesn’t even have a name… he’s just “man.” I think LaBute does this on purpose. The man isn’t meant to be specific; I think he is supposed to represent all of us. Men hurt women, but women hurt men, we all hurt each other and this film is used to show the repercussions of our actions.

My favorite part of the film, is the scene with Kristin Bell and Adam Brody… Bell is the one ex that is supposed to be his soul mate… the girl that he actually loved (and may still love) and ran away from — this is the common thread in this movie, man runs away from confrontation and feelings — really lays into him when he tries to make excuses. I really admire that she is able to do this because I am incapable of expressing myself in this way. Here is the dialogue (I tried to upload a clip but it wouldn’t work so you get the script instead, sorry):

Man: Jesus Christ, can we just be civilized about this? Even if we just end up as… you know…

Bobbi: Friends? You were not about to say that were you? Huh? I don’t need any friends. Or let me be more specific… I do not need you.

Man: Well that is not very nice.

Bobbi: Well I wasn’t trying to be nice… not at all. I’m serious. I mean, why would I want to be pals with you? Buddies? Huh? Especially now? I barely wanted to see you. God, you were always this grandiose guy but I had no idea, until this moment that it might be pathological. So, no, I think friends is off the list.

Man: Look, I always meant well…

Bobbi: F you (sorry gotta edit to keep this blog PG-13)! That’s pathetic. Oppenheimer meant well. Pol Pot meant well. It’s not about the meaning, it’s about the doing. Guys always mean well right before they screw somebody over.

Man: Come on…

Bobbi: What?

Man: That’s not…

Bobbi: Not what? Not what? You think it’s alright just because it’s one person rather than a dozen or a million? When is hurting ok? Only when you say so? Or is it just open season, all of us, going at it whenever we see fit.

Man: I am not saying it’s ok to hurt but you cannot equate some war with me not calling you.

Bobbi: Why not? Who says I can’t? In fact, I already did, just now. And I’m going to stand by it, I am. Because when you do what you do, which it sounds like you’ve done, a lot, people get hurt… injured… a bit of them, some piece, it dies. They lose something that will never come back, not ever. And this part that you decide you can just take from them and damage, piss on…

Man: I didn’t take anything.

Bobbi: You DID! From me, you did. Maybe not what you thought, but you did do that. And you didn’t care. You didn’t even look back. And that… it makes you more than just an ex-boyfriend. You’re like a killer… or an assassin… some emotional terrorist who… No, no you know the truth of it is, all the stuff you do… it makes you a not very nice person. And that’s as bad as it gets, as far as I’m concerned.

kristenbell Most guys just don’t get it. They don’t. Their actions hit home a lot more often than not and they take them with a grain of salt. People aren’t just toys… you can’t just play with them and toy with their emotions and then place them back in the toy box when you are done. This movie just dramatized our passion for ignorance. This entire movie, the man is being read the riot act by each one of his exes. He acknowledges what they say but he really doesn’t hear any of them. Nothing changes. The movie ends with “man” checking out the stewardess on his flight back home. Is it like this with most guys? I really hope not…. But did the women get the closure they needed… did he? Does closure even exist? I don’t think it does. I think letting go is a much more relatable statement than closure. I don’t believe that things ever end. If you truly love someone, that love is a forever thing. You don’t just turn that emotion off. I think you have to let go… you may need to see someone and tell them that they hurt you, tell them off, or even tell them that you love them but being with them isn’t the right thing for you or whatever you might need to say to a person to help you let go. You don’t actually need them for the process, you just need them to play a role in the closure or letting go, but you are the only person that can actually move on. I might be a little far-fetched in this post but I thought this was a pretty interesting film. I love that about indie films. They have a deeper meaning than the blockbusters… a little more substance. They hit home at just the right time. Watch it… I mean what movie could go wrong when Adam Brody is the star?441972164_640

Oh the mistakes I make…

Our twenties are a time where we are supposed to go out on a limb. Step outside of our element… experience exciting opportunities that we won’t be able to experience when we are married with 2.5 kids living in suburbia USA. I am trying to live these 20s of mine to the fullest as you can probably tell from the posts on my blog. So remember that time ((about two weeks ago)) when I told you about a little thing called Tinder? Well Tinder bit me in the butt. Left teeth marks, the whole shebang! But since I have such a good sense of humor I’m going to share my horror stories with you guys. We can laugh together because I was laughing while it happened, why not give you guys a few chuckles at my expense?! That guy I told you about… the one that had a littleeeeee problem Image errrrr…. Producing?? Yeah, you know the guy. Well things sorta died down so I was back to just juggling one guy again. Boring, right? YES. ((I’m going to try to keep this one guy off of my blog, apparently it’s bad luck to talk about my guys on here so you will just have to keep an open mind and believe that he is straight gorgeyyyy)) So… me being the moron that I am, gets back on Tinder – I took a timeout from the app when I had two solid perspectives in my boat – and I start talking to this new guy. He was cool, funny, had his ish together too… or so it seemed. Well, on Saturday night he asked me if I wanted to have a chill night and come watch a movie. It was a lonnnnnngggg Saturday spent in a gym so a relaxing night with male company sounded fantastic so I was like sure thang, send me the address and I will come over after I shower! He was like great! Come on over. I start driving and I’m like huhhhh… this is the same way I go to Jon’s house ((TINDER prospect #1 that had the little problem))…  I keep driving, listening to Miley’s new cd on replay <#icantstop>Image and then my gps is like you have arrived. Oh I had arrived alright… AT JON’S HOUSE!!!! I was like holy hell there is no way! I believe I told you he owned restaurants and clothing stores, etc. in my previous post and that he had a pretty nice living. Well what I failed to mention was that he recently allowed three of his cousins move into a few of his spare rooms. I met two out of the three cousins on previous visits… the third I never met. Welp, jokes on me because I was about to! Sooo, I drive past his house and pull into a school a mile up the road and immediately call my best friend Lisa. I was dyiinnnngggg laughing when I called her and I was like you are not going to believe what is happening. I told her the sitch and she was like this would only happen to you! Then of course she asked what I was going to do. I went with the honesty route. I called him ((WITH Lisa on the call {{he got the three-way phone call attack, thanks Mean Girls}} because she wouldn’t let me hang up with her – she wanted to hear the hilarity as it went down)) Imageand I go “Ummmm slight problem… are you Jonathan’s cousin?” He paused for TEN SECONDS – I am not kidding you guys… It felt like forevvverrrr – and he goes “Yeah, why?” I then proceeded to  tell him that I dated his cousin… needless to say I drove myself right on home and did not stop in to say hello to the two. Turns out he really didn’t know that Jon and I had seen each other and he had a pretty good sense of humor too! We laughed about it and joked about meeting again in another life (yeahhhh rightttt) and moved on. SO, I get it. Lesson learned! I will stop trying to juggle… I’m at a good place with #GuyA [that’s how I will refer to him from now on so he stays anonymous and I don’t jinx my relationship] so I’m just going to play it out and try not to eff it up, which I tend to do more often than not. I hope this was as amusing to you as it was to the rest of my friends… I’m going to post some screenshots from that night below. Until next time…ImageImagephoto 1

Insecurities… Friends… Typical week

So I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and am just getting around to posting it. So I’m sorry that I’ve been lazy and that this is a little dated but I wrote it so I’m not going to waste it… duhhh – we just went over how lazy I am!

Here comes another post that is all over the place. Really though, you should be used to it by now… thoughts in my head just jumble together and I roll with it. So let’s do this.

Insecurities. We all have them. From body issues, friends and family, all the way to relationships – they exist. If you say you don’t have any insecurity, I trust you about as far as I can throw you, which more than likely isn’t far, fat ass. But the problem with my insecurities is that I tend to over compensate… I try to smother my insecurities by being more than I am. I try to become the life of the party… the most confident person in the room. Usually it’s a charade but it helps me to get past the initial insecurity of entering a room… that or a little liquid courage usually does the trick and we all know which of the two I prefer. I was thinking about this when I got home yesterday from my typical Saturday night of debauchery. I sat on my couch and wondered if anyone could see through the fakeness and recognize me, a girl with insecurities that is trying a little too hard to mask them. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a great time when I’m out. I love acting out and once I do have a few drinks, I’m so comfortable that I don’t care what I say or do. If I want to hook up with a guy that I’m attracted to, then I’m going to do it. ((Which come to find out this weekend, my definition of the words “hook up” are a hell of a lot different than other peoples… who knew that people assumed you meant you boned when you say hook up?? I sure didn’t! Whoopsiess))New Girl gif - When did everyone get cool at sex I’m a firm believer that women should be able to enjoy their connections with men anytime… that means regardless of whether they are out on a formal date. My personal feelings are that if you want to hook up, hook up! And afterwards be NORMAL. Crack a joke… because a casual, fun hook up is just that – fun and casual, not anything more. Girls gif - I'm attracted to everyoneBut come to find out, this view of mine is an issue for some people I hang out with, but you know what??? It’s my life and they are my decisions and I’m not going to let anyone tell me to do it differently. Don’t get me wrong though… you should listen to your friends… their opinions matter, but then so do yours… I mean it’s your life to live and your mistakes to make.

So on Sunday, I was rehashing the previous night with a friend when she said that she thought I “have a problem” when it comes to the way I am with guys. I didn’t know how to take the comment so instead of being the sassy person I usually would be, I just responded that I didn’t care. If people want to perceive me in a certain light, let them. 2 Broke Girls gif - Who cares I'm awesomeIf they don’t agree with what I do or don’t do it doesn’t bother me. But it did bother me that my friend said this and got so bent out of shape when I said that I didn’t care. Which brings me to about an hour ago, when I started to think about this post and what direction I was going to take it in… I have decided to throw it back to a comment I made earlier this year when I said that the hardest relationships to maintain are your friendships. Aren’t they though?? They are a little stressful, especially when you have friends that are so different than you are. But if you ask me ((and you all are since you’re reading my blog in the first place)), I think it’s ok to disagree with your friends. I think that your girl friends will always break your heart more than boyfriends will and I think that a lot of the time they don’t even know they are doing it. In the same light though, disagreeing and hearing opinions of others only builds respect for one another, right? Gif - You're entitled to your WRONG opinion

Look, I’m probably the worst person to take advice from because I think I see things completely different than most – but if you’re unhappy with something in your life – whether it’s with a friend, lack of a relationship, lack of money, whatever it is – and you are losing sight of who you are… just relax, take a step back and reevaluate. That’s what I spent the afternoon doing. I’ve said it before – hell, I think I wrote it last weekwe only get one chance… one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, will you capture it, or just let it slip [sorry, couldn’t resist an Eminem plug… he’s a weakness]… but moving on… you deserve to be happy and to be surrounded by people that encourage and support you and your decisions {Good and Bad}. If you aren’t feeling the love or support from your peeps, maybe it’s time to cool it… hang out with someone different for a while. I dunno, that seems a bit drastic, even to me but I’m thinking that might be something I need to do so I can maintain that relationship, because it is important to me.

That’s all I have to say for today…I’m gonna sign off of this post with a throwback jam that’s playing right now as I’m typing away – some Michael Tolcher ladies and gents, thank me later.

Summer of Yes

It’s the SUMMER OF YES! I decided this a couple of weeks ago while I was sitting on the beach reading Girls in White Dresses.  I was soaking up the sun and as I read the opening paragraph of a chapter where the girls adopted a summer of yes, I thought “Hey, what the hell, I’ll give this a go too!”  Happy Endings gif - I really really want to do it

It’s the summer to take chances… do things I wouldn’t normally do. Think about it… I mean, how many times do you turn things down that are a little out of your comfort zone? I do… I would honestly say I turn things down more often than I say “yes” to them. Do I want to live my life ((or summer)) missing out on opportunities because they scare me a little bit? No, life is too short for that. We only get one chance at life… just one chance to experience anything and everything you want. So, say YES! Join me in this fun/slightly crazy mission to do things we wouldn’t normally do… go to places we wouldn’t normally go and meet new people that we would normally never meet. Who cares if it scares you?? Think about the doors it could potentially open. We all deserve nothing but happiness and to be surrounded by people who bring out the best in you.

Ask your closest friends to join in on this it might expand your friend group. I was actually having a convo with one of my friends recently about how hard it is to make real friends as you get older. We were talking about who really has the time [or wants to put in the time] to get to know someone new. Think about it… how many of you are in touch with a lot of your friends from high school or college. I’m not talking about those “friends” that you send Christmas cards to or a quick happy birthday note on their Facebook wall… I’m talking about real meaningful relationships. I would say I’m consistently in touch with probably about two people from high school and my two closest friends from college. Other than that the only friends I have are people I have met recently. So maybe expanding your friend group during the summer of yes isn’t a bad idea. I have a slight fear that if I don’t keep up these relationships with my current friends, I’m going to end up friendless… which is terrifying!!! It’s hard to connect with someone – or maybe it just is for me – and to be able to trust them immediately, right?

I dunno but what I do know is that my summer of yes has already started and I’ve stepped out of the box in more ways than one, for instance: my friend Morgan called me as I was getting ready for a date and asked me to join her at the Bachelor casting call – – would I ever do this in real life? Hell-to-the-NO! But she threw in that it was the summer of yes and I succumbed to the peer pressure and went and had a really good time… hmmm…. And then there was this guy that asked me on a date. Normal Katie would have said absolutely not in any other situation but since it’s the S.O.Y. I said yes and he’s turned out to be a really fun guy to talk to. Not saying I see a future with him ((he’s a little too short for my liking)) but he is turning out to be someone I enjoy hanging around. I’m two for two so far… give it a try and let me know what kind of risks you take in the comments section! Good Luck!!Girls gif - Voice of my generation