Child’s Play

He’s Just Not That Into You. I have referenced this movie before and I’m about to do it again… deal with it. I don’t know why I can’t take my own damn advice. I got home from a long day in the gym on Saturday and decided to watch one of my favorite rom(notso)coms and see if maybe the 7th times a charm and I would learn something. As all of you know, the movie starts at the playground. The little boy pushes the girl and the girl runs to her mom crying and her mom tells her that the guys only doing it because he likes her. This is where it starts. You can see it on the little girl’s face –  Does this guy like me? Do I even like him? Where do we go from here? All of those questions that I still ask myself in my mid-20s. I’m still acting like a child on the playground when it comes to guys AS AN ADULT. I feel like those stupid pinching, making fun of the person we like, pushing games we played as kids are still in play now.

Take this weekend <and every freakin weekend for the past month> with the guy I’m interested in for instance. As you have probably gathered by now, there’s this guy I like… ((all bad stories start like this I feel like… here’s your warning)) and he makes me nervous in a way that a guy hasn’t in a while.  He taps into this super nerdy side of me that thinks he’s fantastic and cool and wants him to think I’m fantastic and super cool too. So whenever I am around him I assume that it’s hella obvious that I’m trying to do or say something that will make him laugh or catch his interest so I try not to. [Now bear with me because I have to try to break down that sentence because after reading it myself it doesn’t make the most sense.] I’m just going to throw out some of the things I’ve been doing the last few weekends that my friends Beckkkyyyyyy… Laurennnn…have said is me being mean to the poor schmuck to explain that. Examples include but are not limited to: Ignoring him (which basically I do because I don’t want him to think I’m way too eager to see/talk to him – Hellooooo, girls not desperate!), Flirting with other guys (Orrrrr… like this weekend inviting another guy that I’ve been interested in in the past along… clearly I ((and every other single person I know)) only do this ish so it’s obvious that other people are interested in us too),  hc_screenshot_cacheNot reaching out via text or when I do text him making sure  it’s clear that it’s a group thing (Look, I’m not trying to be completely vulnerable, I’ve  taken steps. It’s his freakin turn!!),  and making jokes at his expense (Ok, now this is something I just can’t fight… Lauren and Becky both told me this weekend that I was being mean and needed to stop picking on him but I wasn’t even aware I was doing it. My smart mouth has a mind of its own – I have no control and I apologize).Chelsea gif - Making fun of people but you aren't kidding Now as I’m looking over those few things I’ve been doing and running our encounters and conversations through my mind, obv I’m saying to myselfWhat the hell was I thinking? Better yet, what the hell am I doing?” I mean, REALLY!? I’m 25 years old and when I’m intimidated by a guy I basically run up to him, hit him and run away. See?? I still haven’t grown past elementary school ish when it comes to dating! Any other guy comes along that isn’t him and I’m cool as a cucumber (Ew, cool as a cucumber? That’s totally something Becky would say, I’m sorry but once it’s typed it stays) and talkative and super comfortable but when it comes to him I am a hot flippin mess. He just has this……. Something that I can’t even deal. Friday night, the guy had on a plain white tee and jeans and rocked the hell out of them like he was freakin Adam Levine – which only contributes to the unfairness of this whole sitch. Really though, how is it possible that he’s so hot in a white t that he no doubt threw on walking out the door? It’s not fair and THAT is what I’m working with people.New Girl gif - Cute guy alert I know, I know… I just need to grow up and graduate from playground days and fall into the dating norms like everyone else seems to have done and be a little less cryptic in my attempts… Yeah right… easier said written than done.

Douchebaggery

Wednesday night, my friend Becky and I went to the Hawks game with two of our guy friends. It was an epic event filled with school night cocktails, Floyd Mayweather and free upgraded floor seats amongst the rich and famous. <<Pretty good lead in to the topic of this post huh?? Don’t you wish you were with us that night??>> Well the guys we were with are kind of amazing and open and while we were chatting about some hotties and douchey guys that kept passing one of our guys asked: Why do girls go for that type of guy? I, of course, tried to laugh it off and be like whhhaaa?? That’s not true – but as a girl we know it is. Girls love douchebags, bad boys and all of the stupid games they play but now that I’m starting to get older, the appeal in that type of characteristics starts to mature along with our age. Don’t get me wrong though, I still like a guy with a little edge but now I’m looking for one that’s nice but isn’t a pushover, has a career and basically has the aura of still being a bit douchey without actually being one.

A lot of girls seem to be obsessed with the fairytale romance straight out of our favorite romantic comedy… I’m not into that at all. I’m not the type of girl that needs to be in a relationship. I feel like if you are basing yourself on your relationship status no guy is EVER going to want to pursue that. And I can vouch that the older you get, the more intense the pressure is on this one. It’s pretty pathetic but life goes on. Like I told my friend Becky the other night ((Orrrr at least I tried to tell her this – it sounded much better in my head)), they just happen – relationships, that is – we can’t act like we’re casting the lead in the movie that is our life until we find the right guy all the time. We will never ever ever be able to find a boyfriend that way.

But once you find a guy who is boyfriend potential how do you not get fooled by the games guys play? How many more bs movies like He’s Just Not That Into You do we have to sit through before we learn not to be tricked into delusional dating? Lots of guys lead girls on for the most obvious reason in the world ((which I feel no need to write down)) but this isn’t why we get deceived or confused. We get deceived strictly by the way we view the interactions with the other person… i.e. hanging out, texting and yeah ok, hook ups.  I have been guilty of this on more than one occasion, believe me. Making something out of nothing is my motto. Girls gif - You tend to over think thingsLook, if a guy is trying to date you – I’m pretty sure he’ll be clear about it. Yeah they play stupid games, but if someone wants to be your boyfriend I seriously doubt you’re going to miss the freaking memo… so this is what I propose: Be honest with guys, even if it might take you out of your comfort zone or if it’s a little embarrassing… at least then you have laid all of your cards on the table and the ball is in his court – it’s ok if it takes a few pickle backs or brews to get it out of you because everyone knows alcohol confessions always count.