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Time to get Real

I feel like getting a little sentimental with this post so let’s talk plans. Everyone has a plan. When I was younger I had my life figured out. I got boy crazy at around 12 so I figured by 16, I would have a pretty good idea of what direction I was going to head in. Man, was I wrong, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with my life! I thought by 18, I would have my major decided and career picked out, be in a serious relationship by 21 and then at 24, I would be getting married and at 26 I would be ready for children. Let me tell you, that’s not how it has gone down and honestly, the thought of having a little mini me is terrifying. The only think I got right was that I was in a serious relationship that ended when I was 21.

Last night I went out and grabbed drinks with my friend Lisa and over some wine and wings, IMAG0164we were talking about our past relationships and how disappointing they were during the fact but after we learned a lot. I’ve had about three serious relationships in my life and none of them have worked out. I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be ok. All of the guys I’ve dated have helped shape me into the person I’ve become. One boyfriend turned out to be super controlling, but while we were together, he told me I was perfect. He made me feel like the most beautiful and special person alive and even though it didn’t end well, in those few years we were together, I felt truly loved and it helped me become more secure in my own body and confident in the woman that I needed to become. Another one of my boyfriend’s broke me out of my shell. He let me be me. He let me be funny (or try to be) and encouraged me to be independent. After that relationship, I moved to Atlanta without any friends and haven’t looked back once. Every single one of those failed relationships has taught me something and has pushed me towards whatever or whoever is waiting for me. And although I resent a lot of the things that took place in those relationships, I’m thankful for those morons that have helped get me ready for that one special person that 16 year old me thought I would have already met. I am going to do my best to achieve my goals and better my life with the new plan that I have put together at 25. I’m not going to write it down or share it with you fools because duh, everyone knows once you say it out loud it won’t come true. Just know that for better or worse, I’m in control of my own outcome.

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