The Way We Were…

When I started to tell people about what happened between myself and my FWB, everyone was super quick to be like, “What a douche!” or “He is such a jerk!”imagesouche But let’s be serious… I would never date a douche or a jerk… he’s my best friend and I honestly believe he’s an amazing guy. I always wonder why our first go to when you hear someone got dumped is to talk crap about their ex. I’m even guilty of doing it but after this recent departure, I’ve realized it’s not helpful. Not in the least. It’s already enough that you go from being in a “relationship” ((I use that term loosely in my case)) and having a best friend and then just like that, they’re your ex or somebody in your past. Their role in your life changes overnight and who wants to hear about what a douche he was by friends that are trying to make you feel better? Answer: NOT ME. It’s not the truth so why would I want to hear that nonsense?

Nothing takes away the initial sting of rejection. It has been about a month since my “break-up” and I’m trying to bounce back as well as I can. I had that week’s span ((ehhh maybe two weeks)) where I was selfish watching rom-coms  and feeling sorry for myself… it felt like I was admitting defeat and it hurt… I had the “Heyyyyy… maybe time will make him come to his senses” thoughts too, but now I’m trying to move on with my daily and meet guys that want to be with me. After I sat back and reflected on this relationship and past relationships, I knew that I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was pre-breakup. I complained about him not wanting to spend time with me, I went to sleep pissed because of numerous random things, and I was jealous of my friends and their relationships that had elements that mine didn’t. I mean when it comes down to it with break-ups, anyone who can walk away from you should be with someone else anyway. Why waste time hoping he’ll come to his senses?  I know that I can do better… it’s tough watching tv shows and rom-coms where at the end, they get back together and live happily ever after because that is not how it works. If I’m wrong, puuuhhhllleaasseeee let me know. I mean obv there are random exceptions (Carrie and Big) but I’m pretty positive that I am not the exception. I watched a TON (as I mentioned above) of these movies… I also put some time in with movies where there’s a break-up and then the bestie comes up from nowhere and professes their undying love and they live happily ever after and let’s not forget the one where the girl loves the guy and waits around for 74839472 years for the guy to bone any and everything that walks to finally figure out that he loves her (ONE DAY). Basically what I’m telling you is that I tortured myself for two weeks with this crap. PEOPLEEEEEE there is not ONE THING satisfying about sitting around and waiting for someone. What is the matter with us?? Or Hollywood, for that matter, producing nonsense like that? If you are doing something like this, stop it!! I’m telling you to cut it OUT!!marniebreakup You can’t spend your life waiting or worrying about another person or looking for their permission to be happy and to move on. :::NEWSFLASH::: I just tried that… for over a year and a half and was rewarded with nothing more than a broken heart. IT SUCKS and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy… actually I would, but that’s because she’s a bitch and married my ex-boyfriend but that’s a whole other story… your only responsibility is to yourself and to find someone who makes you happy and feel loved. Even on The Mindy Project season finale yesterday this ish is happening… Mindy tried a relationship with her best friend, it failed, he was trying to get her back and she didn’t know it so while she was having a heart to heart she told Danny that he was right when he said that “guys don’t break up with girls they secretly want to be with.” Helloooo – we all just need to realize this is true… a lot of talking goes down while you are getting dumped but the end all, regardless of what’s being said is that they’re STILL BREAKING UP WITH YOU!! While you might feel like crap the first month after a break-up, I promise it gets better.hangoutallthetime

And if you want to go out with the last word I recommend you throw out this quote from one of my FAVORITES from my cry fest a couple of weeks ago, The Way We Were… Hubbell is in the process of breaking up with Katie when she says, “You’ll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or love you as much!” I mean they still break-up but it’s a good one… and I felt that way with my last break-up… should have watched this damn movie again before we talked J Oh well, at least you’ll be prepared to get the last word in and leave them wondering what could have been.

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Time to plan some Bachelorette parties… uh ohh

Ohhhhhh wedding season. A time of celebration, love, dancing… alcohol… open bars, yeah yeah you get it. They are always a blasty blast because everyone gets to let loose and dance and have fun! It’s a special time in our lives, what can I say?? This weekend was a special one for me – obviously riddled with booze, boys, and kissing but that’s not why it was special. It was special because two of my closest friends and former roommates, Lauren and Katie, asked me to be a bridesmaid in their weddings! Of course I told them both yes!! Why wouldn’t I want to jump at the chance to look ab fab in pictures that will hang in their homes forever and to get to hang out with them on one of the happiest days of their lives?!!

I told them both that someone upstairs must be out to get me because I came to a very harsh reality when they asked me… do you know that all of the people that have lived with me have gone on to get engaged/married right after we stopped living together?! If I’m not the real life Good Luck Chuck, I don’t know who is. Seriously though, I’ve lived with 4 people in my life: my college roommate, Stolze, who moved out of our place and into her boyfriend/now husband’s apartment; my ex, Sir Douchery, who is now engaged to the world’s biggest ((censorship for my G rated blog)) that he started dating conveniently right after I moved out; Katie, who got engaged on Friday night that moved to Florida right after our lease was up and got on Match.com [through my encouragement I will say] and met her now fiancé; and last but CERTAINLY not least, my most recent roomie, Lauren, got engaged to her boyfriend like the week before we moved out of our apartment. SO what I’m saying is this: if you want to get married or engaged anytime soon come live with me… it’s a gift! I called my mom to tell her about this realization and do you know what she said to me?? After that uber sweet post I wrote about her here <<click to read my kind words that I am now EATING>> she laughed and said, “What’s that saying?? Always a bridesmaid…” Really though, she said that. I was like SERIOUSLY MOM?! and she went on to tell me that my time will come and since I live by myself now that I’ll be my own good luck chuck! <- That is the support system that I have behind me… quite solid (not).

It’s funny how nothing makes you take a step back and look at your relationship status like when your friends get engaged to be married – it’s like one day we are all toasting with pickle backs as single, independent betches on the hunt and then the next, we are spending our lunch breaks on Pinterest pinning our favorite flower bouquets and wedding playlists. So when you take that step back to think about where you are and where you will be when the weddings roll around, you start to think about the plus ones. If you are single, you know what I’m talking about. Getting a wedding invitation with your name plus guest written on the envelope is the WORST (I am NOT saying I don’t want that option Lauren/Katie – it’s just a segue, OKKK?!?). Now, with that being said, I think that being a bridesmaid in the wedding gives you the best excuse for not having a date! I’ve been in my share of weddings and you are all over the place – who’s going to have enough time to hold the brides dress up so she can pee, dance to the WOBBLE and give the proper amount of attention to their date?! Answer: no one. I am just going to take it upon myself to find the other single wedding attendees and flirt my heart out – because otherwise they would be bored so really, bringing a date would just be hella rude, and I would NEVER!!

SO – congrats to two of my favorites. I’m glad that you guys found someone that will put up with all of your crap and your extremely terrible personalities. I love you both sooo sooo much and I’m so glad that you asked me to be part of your special day!1 (2)1.2 1.31.1

10 things knocked down to 3

As I was perusing HuffPo this morning, I came across an article titled 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Singles in America. Being the single and ready to mingle female that I amof course I clicked on the article and started reading. What I read was somewhat interesting but really just made me realize that I am the exception in singlehood. The first thing the article hit on was friends with benefits. According to some survey, they are more common than ever. Apparently almost 50 percent of singles have had friends with benefits in the past. Now I can side with this stat. A lot of my friends and I have been guilty of this. While a lot of girls and guys would argue you can’t have a real friendship and be hooking up but I think that there’s something comfortable and easy about having one. I’m not saying it’s not complicated though…. I think it’s pretty darn hard not to get attached – don’t count this as a fail though, I don’t, I mean even Samantha got attached on occasion. Do you guys feel like there is always that one person that is going to get awkward?? The little green monster pops up or the overanalyzing begins and things get a little weird. I think that if you go into it with the notion that there isn’t supposed to be a happy ending – it’s just supposed to end, you will be good to go.Grey area - Friend Girlfriend

The next thing the article says is that 57 percent of single men and 45 percent of single women sext. I have never gotten into this – it’s a very slippery slope that I have no interest in going down. What you send out via text or cyberspace will follow you for the rest of your freakin life and you can bet that anything even the slightest bit explicit you send is being shared with all of his friends. Ladies – cover your boobs and vageen in pictures – it’s for your own good… I promise. I will say though – one of my friends (who I will not name out of total respect) showed me and another friend an example of her past sexting escapades and it was the ultimate form of entertainment! Seriously, don’t act like you’re sooooo repelled by the disturbing texts from your guys…. Puhhleassee, you know you’re completely entertained! And don’t even think that you have a pass when you have a boyfriend. What if you have some crazy blowup breakup?! Yeah, I’m saying just avoid the whole sitch. Don’t drink and sext ladies. There are your words to live by. You’re welcome.New Girl gif - Sext

The last thing I’m hitting on from that article is about privacy. “Single women demand digital transparency in relationships. 77 percent of women and 53 percent of men would not date someone who was secretive about their text messages.” I get the whole shady thing where obv if someone is going out of their way to hide their messages there is something more going on but I don’t get why you want to look at their texts anyways. If you are single – like this article is targeting – then what right do you even have looking at other peoples ish anyway?! None. I’ve never been one of those girlfriends… ok I can’t say never – once, just that one time… that has checked their significant others facebook messages or whatever. “Singles in their 20s are most likely to snoop around than any other age group.” Really guys… If you trust them then who cares who they talk to?? I can say this honestly – I trusted my ex and got burned but I still stand by that. Just because he sucks I’m not going to let him ruin things for me or control my life choices. I’m still going to believe in you until you do something that breaks this confidence. You get one life – YOLO **yeah I hate that too** – one chance to do anything and everything and experience as much as possible. So trust wholeheartedly and live single and be happy Happy Endings gif - Alone til 50

Look forward to my angry Valentine’s post. Stupid “holiday.”

It’s Ok… I think

“I hate everyone near our age that is married… or happily dating.” – My bestie Becky (THIS week)

One of my favorite Tumblr pages is “#MyFriendsAreMarried (And I’m 25 and Single)” [[Check it out, it’s a laugh fest every week]] and since I am turning 25 in January the site is hitting even closer to home than usual. I’d like to start by saying I have a confession. I have been lying to everyone <and myself> when I say that I’m freaking out about turning 25. Honestly, I’m kind of looking forward to 25. It’s the perfect age.  I can rent a car without those a holes jacking up the price, it’s the age where the youngsters look up to me and the age where I can offer up all kinds of advice on being in your early 20s to those 21 and 22 year olds that constantly ask me questions. I like being respected and looked up to and that’s what 25 is to me. But 25 is also the age where for whatever reason society starts throwing balls of pressure straight at your baby box and it starts to get a little stressful.

This past year I have thrown myself into the deep end of the dating pool and with A LOT of unsuccessful attempts at relationships I have decided to let you guys know why being single isn’t the worst thing ever. Now, I won’t try to pretend that I don’t miss the intimacy of being in a relationship but I am REALLY enjoying the single life. So here we go…

  • I’ve said it before and I will say it again… my life is crazy. I have told my friends that “I don’t even have time for a boyfriend” and I hated saying it. It sounds like a cop out… a big fat one… but as I said it I realized I meant it. Seriously, how do people in relationships work in a boyfriend along with work and extracurriculars?? I barely have time to see my friends between all of my jobs… Can you imagine having to see someone all the time?! No thanks… FREE TIME is a must!
  • Speaking of seeing my friends this is another reason why I’m glad I’m not in a relationship. There’s more time to spend with my GIRLFRIENDS when I’m single. I love my besties more than anything because guys don’t typically take as well to my sassy smart aleck text messages when I need to vent about CERTAIN issues that seem to happen daily.
  • Would you like to know what I am good at? Sports and flirting. Sports can never be taken away from me but FLIRTING gets downgraded when you’re in a relationship. Sure you can flirt with your better half but really… where’s the excitement in that? You’ve already hooked him so the game isn’t quite as exciting. I feel like I’m betraying the art of flirting when I’m in a ‘ship so right now I am letting all of my creativity flow.
  • Random make outs. There… I said it. I’m not telling anyone to do it but my point is that you CAN do it when you aren’t in a relationship. The option is there — do with it as you please.
  • Who doesn’t want to go home, drink a glass of wine and catch up on your latest tv shows after having a long day ((or week)) of work? – me, last night but you can’t do that when you have roommates OR a boyfriend. Because that would be incredibly selfish to remove them from those ideal nights. Because what if he had a crappy day too? Then you have to lend him a sympathetic (I lack this quality) ear for him to share his feelings and tell you about what went wrong with his day and your relaxing evening is thrown out the window. Sorry to be BLUNT but your needs are at a minimum when you are in a relationship. You have to take the other persons emotions into consideration and at this point in my life I am entirely too selfish to do so.
  • Also, your day can’t be ruined by some ridiculous argument that sparked over some LITTLE THING. You can never be cheated on when you are single. Or your day can’t be ruined by a text message… or maybe no message as a response to your text. You have nobody to check in with or explain to why you didn’t text him goodnight when you crawled in from the bars at 3 in the morning (can you tell some of this might be personal experiences… starting to see them as a LITTLE unhealthy relationships). You can take impromptu road trips to see your best friends in Miami {yeah I’m looking at you Courtney} or maybe to go see your favorite Green Bayers {Katy and Erin} . These things have to be thought out when you are in a relationship… the unexplained isn’t an option unless you aren’t in a relationship. There is no obligation to another person. You get to answer to yourself! That’s one of the best parts of being single.

This is it… and I think that these are pretty substantial reasons as to why being single kicks A! I’ll keep on trying these theories… don’t worry, I don’t mind being the test dummy.

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