Facebook is ruining my life. Do you know that I just got distracted for 20 minutes clicking through my pictures to find a new cover photo for my profile?? I did, that was a true statement. And would you like to know what I decided on? Ohh… that would be the exact same one that I already have up there. I’m not proud of this but instead of taking responsibility for my own pathetic actions, I’m going to place the blame solely on Facebook. It singlehandedly sucks me in for hours on end scrolling through my Newsfeed looking at pictures and status updates and it’s gotta stop.
But on a completely unrelated note, it would be ab fab if those hot guys I hooked up with would stop posting pictures of themselves shirtless!! It’s hard to think of them in the past tense when they are teasing me with their solid abs and hotness radiating out of my laptop! Really… really hard. And to all those happily married couples posting status updates about your love or their recent pregnancies… yeah, don’t want to hear about it. There should be a filter on Facebook for jealousy. That way I can block any and every update about engagements, promotions, really anything that people are doing better than me or any status with the slightest hint of happiness in them. Solid idea, huh? Thankkssss! I’m a genius, I’m well aware.
Also, what’s the deal with people that you aren’t friends with seeing your stuff now and you seeing theirs?! Look, if I defriend someone ((which I often do)), it’s because I don’t want them to see things from my amazing life anymore!! Or better yet ((and much more likely)) it’s because I don’t want to see their stupid ish anymore! So stop it Facebook. Just stop it… you are making it extremely hard for me to be productive with my life when I can’t decide if I should untag this drunken mess of a photo I’m in or write a funny little comment that lets everyone who sees the picture [and I do mean everyone ** see comment above**] think that I am the wittiest and most clever person that they (don’t) know.
<Yeah, THIS is the photo it took so long for me to decide on… why, you ask? No effin clue, I’m not proud>