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Forgiveness is more than saying sorry

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Warning: THIS MIGHT GET DEEP. I know what you’re thinking… this girl hasn’t written a post in almost two months and she’s blowing us up with three in one week?! Yeah, well deal with it, I’ve got a lot of ish going on in my life and writing is my scapegoat.

I’m a firm believer that there should be some sort of emotional cut-off limit to what a person can feel. Like you know that part of your brain that lets you know when something freakin hurts physically? Yeah, we should totally have one of those emotionally where we just stop getting our feelings hurt. Sometimes we hurt people that we care about. Sometimes we allow others that we care about to hurt us. This is life and we are human. I have made a ton of mistakes and I have a ton of flaws but we can’t always hide our flaws and we can’t always make our mistakes better.  It’s just the reality of it all and it sucks but the one thing we can change is our attitude towards it. We can forgive and maybe not forget but we can learn and grow.download

I wanted to preface this post by saying all of that before I get into the nitty gritty. When I first met my friend, I knew this was someone I always want to have in my life. I didn’t know if it was going to be in the shape of a friend or a boyfriend but what I did know was that my life was better with him in it. You guys know that I’m not great at dating. OBVIOUSLY. I do it a lot but nothing seems to come out of it. Most recently, I have figured out that I’m also bad at keeping things casual and keeping my emotions in check. And I can’t help that. I have hormones – sue me. That being said, my friend hurt me. While we have yet to define anything in our relationship ((and no I have no need – or want – to have that conversation)), is it wrong for me to expect respect? We have been ummm… getting together… for a year now and I get a message from him asking if I would be interested in his friend?! Like what?What gif Is this even real? Ohh… yep, it is because here is the text:AGAIN

Here is the dilemma – #1 I know I’m not his girlfriend. He’s not my boyfriend, we aren’t dating blah blah blah I know these things BUT in the same respect, I value him and what we have and I have so much respect for him as a friend that I expect more. I expect him to know not to ask me that. Issue #2 is that after I called him out on the bullshit, he was like I understand you’re irritated but my friends wanted me to ask you and I thought you would know it was ridiculous and wouldn’t take it seriously.uhh no Say WHAT? Here’s what I take from that: he couldn’t give a rat’s ass about me or my feelings. Am I overreacting? Probably so, I’m hormonal and I know it but that’s just how it is. But really guys am I that off base? As far as I know, we’ve been close friends for three years now – yet his coworkers ask him to send me a text like that and he doesn’t stop to think “Heyyyy… this will probably hurt Katie’s feelings… maybe I shouldn’t ask her that.” But no. He didn’t even stop to think about me and that’s a problem. We kindaaaa just blew over the fall out and moved on but as you can see, I’m still harboring some mixed emotions about the whole sitch. I suck at communicating my feelings ((in person – I can write for days)) but I think I’m going to grow a pair and talk these things out with him this weekend. If I do, you guys will be the first… well not really my friends come first… but you will for sure be a close 5th to know! Thanks for listening you guys… and I know if the talk doesn’t go as planned, there is always vodka to fall back on!

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