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Insecurities… Friends… Typical week

So I wrote this post a couple of weeks ago and am just getting around to posting it. So I’m sorry that I’ve been lazy and that this is a little dated but I wrote it so I’m not going to waste it… duhhh – we just went over how lazy I am!

Here comes another post that is all over the place. Really though, you should be used to it by now… thoughts in my head just jumble together and I roll with it. So let’s do this.

Insecurities. We all have them. From body issues, friends and family, all the way to relationships – they exist. If you say you don’t have any insecurity, I trust you about as far as I can throw you, which more than likely isn’t far, fat ass. But the problem with my insecurities is that I tend to over compensate… I try to smother my insecurities by being more than I am. I try to become the life of the party… the most confident person in the room. Usually it’s a charade but it helps me to get past the initial insecurity of entering a room… that or a little liquid courage usually does the trick and we all know which of the two I prefer. I was thinking about this when I got home yesterday from my typical Saturday night of debauchery. I sat on my couch and wondered if anyone could see through the fakeness and recognize me, a girl with insecurities that is trying a little too hard to mask them. Now don’t get me wrong, I have a great time when I’m out. I love acting out and once I do have a few drinks, I’m so comfortable that I don’t care what I say or do. If I want to hook up with a guy that I’m attracted to, then I’m going to do it. ((Which come to find out this weekend, my definition of the words “hook up” are a hell of a lot different than other peoples… who knew that people assumed you meant you boned when you say hook up?? I sure didn’t! Whoopsiess))New Girl gif - When did everyone get cool at sex I’m a firm believer that women should be able to enjoy their connections with men anytime… that means regardless of whether they are out on a formal date. My personal feelings are that if you want to hook up, hook up! And afterwards be NORMAL. Crack a joke… because a casual, fun hook up is just that – fun and casual, not anything more. Girls gif - I'm attracted to everyoneBut come to find out, this view of mine is an issue for some people I hang out with, but you know what??? It’s my life and they are my decisions and I’m not going to let anyone tell me to do it differently. Don’t get me wrong though… you should listen to your friends… their opinions matter, but then so do yours… I mean it’s your life to live and your mistakes to make.

So on Sunday, I was rehashing the previous night with a friend when she said that she thought I “have a problem” when it comes to the way I am with guys. I didn’t know how to take the comment so instead of being the sassy person I usually would be, I just responded that I didn’t care. If people want to perceive me in a certain light, let them. 2 Broke Girls gif - Who cares I'm awesomeIf they don’t agree with what I do or don’t do it doesn’t bother me. But it did bother me that my friend said this and got so bent out of shape when I said that I didn’t care. Which brings me to about an hour ago, when I started to think about this post and what direction I was going to take it in… I have decided to throw it back to a comment I made earlier this year when I said that the hardest relationships to maintain are your friendships. Aren’t they though?? They are a little stressful, especially when you have friends that are so different than you are. But if you ask me ((and you all are since you’re reading my blog in the first place)), I think it’s ok to disagree with your friends. I think that your girl friends will always break your heart more than boyfriends will and I think that a lot of the time they don’t even know they are doing it. In the same light though, disagreeing and hearing opinions of others only builds respect for one another, right? Gif - You're entitled to your WRONG opinion

Look, I’m probably the worst person to take advice from because I think I see things completely different than most – but if you’re unhappy with something in your life – whether it’s with a friend, lack of a relationship, lack of money, whatever it is – and you are losing sight of who you are… just relax, take a step back and reevaluate. That’s what I spent the afternoon doing. I’ve said it before – hell, I think I wrote it last weekwe only get one chance… one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, will you capture it, or just let it slip [sorry, couldn’t resist an Eminem plug… he’s a weakness]… but moving on… you deserve to be happy and to be surrounded by people that encourage and support you and your decisions {Good and Bad}. If you aren’t feeling the love or support from your peeps, maybe it’s time to cool it… hang out with someone different for a while. I dunno, that seems a bit drastic, even to me but I’m thinking that might be something I need to do so I can maintain that relationship, because it is important to me.

That’s all I have to say for today…I’m gonna sign off of this post with a throwback jam that’s playing right now as I’m typing away – some Michael Tolcher ladies and gents, thank me later.

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