After yet another wild and crazy weekend, I found myself on my couch, looking for a nice relaxing movie to end my Sunday with and decided on The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I don’t know if you ever read the book in high school ((I didn’t but I will be purchasing it for a summer read)) but it’s a story about this guy named Charlie who is entering his freshman year of high school and he writes about his struggles to an anonymous friend over the course of a year in letters. Charlie is trying to figure out what life is really all about it and talks about the not-so-typical [in my case/opinion] issues that teenagers face like drugs, alcohol, sex, homosexuality, rape and loneliness, etc. When I settled in to watch this movie, I wasn’t quite expecting the wave of feelings ((okkk, I cried… more than once)) that came with it. The movie really makes you think about life. All of life… the good, the bad, the ugly and the hope that it’s going to get better. High school, for a lot of people I believe, is a time where you discover new things about yourself and your friends and it’s the transition into a new ((slightly more)) mature life and this movie helps showcase that you’re not ever really alone in this time… and also the realization that there’s nothing we can’t come out of on the other side.
So while I was watching – being the nerd that you know that I am – I started writing down quotes (I really hope the book elaborates more on some of these lines) that made me pause and think and I want to share them with you guys! One line was repeated in the movie, so I know it’s in the book and I wrote down the first and the second dialogues with it in there so here we go:
First usage of the quote… just a little chatski that Charlie had with his favorite English teacher –
“Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?” – Charlie
<<<HELLOOOOO I think that all the time>>>
“…we accept the love we think we deserve.” – English teacher who I think was named Mr. Anderson…
“Can we make them know that they deserve more?” – Charlie
“We can try.” – Mr. Anderson??
Second usage of the quote was between Charlie and his love interest Sam when she’s leaving to go to school –
“Why do I, and everyone I love, pick people who treat us like we are nothing?” – Sam
“We accept the love we think we deserve.” – Charlie
And then a little bit into the same scene with Sam and Charlie she says this:
“You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things.”
I love that. We accept the love we think we deserve. I’ve done that before and if you have ever settled in a relationship, so have you. It’s that thought that we aren’t good enough or don’t deserve anything better so we hide from what we really want… or who we really want. I’ve done it! Hell, I even thought about doing it this weekend! But then I thought about it and ya know, it really doesn’t matter how good looking, successful, or attentive a guy is if they don’t treat you well or make you second guess yourself or in my case from this weekend, if they make you feel like a piece of meat. It’s pretty much impossible to build a relationship around someone who makes you feel any of those things. So why settle? The sooner we get ourselves into the mindset that we deserve everything we’ve ever wanted, the sooner we can accept it. At the end of the day, I think we can all learn a little something from the confused Charlie… sometimes I still feel like a confused teenager, if we’re being honest, so maybe we should all start facing life with a little more balls ((sorry for that crude way of putting it <I’m not really> but there really was no other way)) and make a little more effort to up the ante on the love that we truly want.
All in all it was a great movie <WATCH IT> and I’m really looking forward to reading the book – because everyone knows the book is always better! I’ll let you know if it really is… or maybe you should just check it out for yourself.
Also, I’m posting a picture of my group of wallflowers from this weekend and some wise words (stolen from another, of course) that our friend Chris says pretty much every time we get together: