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These guys…

I had this past weekend figured out… I had a plan to relax, write a few blog posts, go to volleyball and then have some “me” time. I would like to start by saying plans are BS. Complete and utter BS. If you actually believe that things will go according to plan you are an idiot (guilty) – sorry but ish is about to get real. My weekend started on Friday night <as most weekends do> with one text that defined that night and about half of my Saturday. Those few words that let me know that my dreaded ex has in fact become engaged to the rebound girl. ((Thanks to my good friend Katie who pointed that fact out – really though… who marries the rebound girl?)) – PS. There’s WHOLE hell of a lot of drama attached to the new fiancé, I’m not just hating on the first girl he turned to… who do you think I am?! Some raging hormone crazed betch? Um no.

Anyways… According to someone you’re allowed to have half of the length of your relationship to get over it. I am THERE, have been. I’m thinking that whoever came up with that length of time probably was unhappy with the person they were hooking up with or maybe they hadn’t had a date since that relationship – or they weren’t like me and for the most part over it for the last few months OF that relationship anyways. With all of this being said I think I am/was entitled to a mini freak out of my own {which I did indulge in}…NOT because I had feelings for my ex [COURTNEYYYY] – I mean we broke up, it’s called a breakup for a reason… because it’s FREAKIN BROKE –  but I had dedicated a good amount of time to this guy and he turned out to prove to me that he wasn’t the person I thought he was. Now, I don’t wish him any ill will… because I don’t care one way or another. I will be the bigger person – who knows, I might even smile or give him a wave when I see him next because the way I see it is the person that cares the least has the power and is by default… the winner.

So this mini freak out that I had caused me to take a step back and think about the guys (lame-o’s) that I have dealt with lately. Whether it was a personal experience or not… maybe you can shed some light on how to tread with these bachelors.  

Hypothetical Guy #1: Sayyyy for instance you meet this guy. He’s got that whole nerdy-Jason Segal-swag to him and he gets your sense of humor… there’s alcohol involved so an innocent night of catch phrase turns into a morning of shame and you leave with a little dignity and a business card. Yep, that’s right, a business card. Who does he think you are? Some nice girl that would actively pursue a guy? Like I said in a previous post, if I can hold out for hours on end just to respond to your text message, what makes you think that I would ever read your number off of your card, type it into my phone and call you?? Please. What is the point of this? Does he really think you are going to text him and ask him out? The only exception to this is if freakin ADAM LEVINE gives you his number – then it’s balls to the walls ladies. Am I right though? A guy should be trying to impress you and him not getting your number and giving you a business card (joke or not) is basically saying ‘I’m a douche with a job, impress me lady.’ I’m not saying to become some phone number handing out slore (E…) but a guy who give you his number and doesn’t take yours doesn’t have confidence. Give your number to a guy if you’re into him when the situation arises… or if you’re really drunk and that’s the only escape route. < Been there! >

Hypothetical Guy #2: This guy is never around when you need but always around when it’s convenient to him… he wants to talk to you when he wants to talk to you… he wants to see you when he wants to see you… yeah I think you get it. There are always women in his life… like always, but he makes you laugh and he listens to you when you’re upset but there never seems to be anything more. It’s frustrating as hell and even worse – it’s confusing. Does he or doesn’t he want to try something more? I feel like with this is the guy we’re always holding onto hope for so I’m going to propose a new solution. Know when to walk away… be able to let go of hoping for an idea that is better left to sail away into the great beyond to become someone else’s problem. They say let something go and if it’s meant to be it’ll come back… or something like that (not really into the poetry thing – sue me). Maybe removing the guy is what he needs to change. I dunno… I’m no expert but I do understand the game a little and it’s worth a go.

Hypothetical Guy #3: The A hole. Why is there always a guy in a woman’s life that is just a DOUCHE? Yeah – no the nice guy doesn’t always get the girl but neither should the doucher that treats you like ish. When you call him, he knows you’re a jump away from paying for his dinner and doing his freaking laundry. Why repeatedly put yourself through it? Really though… think back. You all have had at least one guy like this in your life. They are hard to escape but once you do, let ‘em go. Let him torture someone else and you go find a nice guy to entertain your time with.

I’m tired of writing so I’m going to end on this note: At 25 (almost), you are now seeing that you are getting old…ish – so stop dating jerks, take yourself seriously, don’t beat yourself up over your ex getting engaged when you’re still on the prowl, work out – because there’s no use in getting fat and comfortable when you could be playing hard to get with at least three guys at once, be young but grow up, spread your wings and fly and all that jazz… just live your life and let your guard down. Grow a pair… It’ll be ok, I promise.



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