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THANKSgiving

I had to take a week break from writing to celebrate Thanksgiving and my cousin’s wedding. Yes… another wedding. As much as I love holidays that involve huge freaking meals and days full of parades and football, I will say that this Thanksgiving was the worst for my self-esteem. Since it was shared with a wedding this year it included my entire family asking me what I’m going to do with my life and when I am going to buckle down and get married. I mean REALLY!! I miss those Thanksgivings from college where you came home and reunited with your high school best friends and I gave thanks to how my looks and body were changing for the best and in my head how everyone is really jealous of my life ((yeahhh that is all in my head but who cares – it’s my blog, I can write/fantasize about whatever I want!)). But now I find myself in the reality of being 25 and single (one of the only ones of these said friends from high school that isn’t married) and responding to my grandmother’s statements of “We need to remember this for your wedding” –to WHAT imaginary guy with “I’m giving thanks for NOT having a [permanent] guy in my life right now.”

This brings us to today… where I am evaluating my attempt to play hard with a certain someone. The eval goes like this: It’s pretty darn ineffective right now. This is a challenge for me because I like to think this is my forte but right now I am STRUGGLING. So here we go…  I thought I would start off by defining “playing hard to get” as found on dictionary.com (yeah, really… it’s in there). It says that “playing hard to get” is pretending to be inaccessible or uninterested; acting coy, especially with the opposite sex {SIDENOTE: soooo gays can’t play hard to get? Ehh… pretty sure they are the queens of it}. Let me be clear though… Playing hard to get is not to be confused with being a tease or leading guys on. I mean being a tease is for born again virgins that are on the fast track to convince themselves that a smile and a look their way isn’t enough for them to panty drop and hop in the sack and leading guys on is for insecure slores that need attention. I am neither of these pathetic options. I am a talented trick that is usually pretty solid in male campaigns. So a few things that I have learned along this journey of trying to play hard to get are here:

–          When it comes to texting I have the will(or don’t)power of a saint. I can wait hours to text guys back (I didn’t say I didn’t type my response or read his message 30 times within this wait) or be completely indifferent with my response. But NEVER both!!You can’t be both delayed and unimpressed when you text a guy back. The whole point of this strategy is to create uncertainty not to be a stone cold betch. Another little tip is this: YOU can initiate a convo (SOMETIMES). Here’s the disclaimer – you can never contact him more than he contacts you. There has to be a little push and a little pull in the relationship so despite our girly instinct of not reaching out first, sometimes it’s ok to take the reins and make a move.

–          The next step I’ve learned is to just have a life. My life is hectic. I coach volleyball and basketball and work at a school all day and on the days I have early practice I play in an adult volleyball league. When I say I’m not available, I’m usually not available. I think that the less available you are makes you more wanted. No guy wants to hang out with someone whose most fun activity they have scheduled during the week is hanging out with them.

–          So my friends and I frequent bars on the weekend and despite the incredible disappointment that this weekend brought in the attractive guys department we usually do pretty well at getting male attention. One thing that you have to know when it comes to bar-hard-to-get-etiquette is that eye contact is an invitation. Only the delusional guys that have no chance talk to randos without anything to go on so the whole eye contact thing let’s guys know it’s ok for them to come say hi. After that eye contact is made our job is done. If he comes over to talk and he’s actually interesting chat or dance with him. If he’s a total douche show him the door. NOTE: if you are feeling extra confident (drunk) commit to the ‘come hither’ motion with your finger just once… I am two for two with it and I will stand by that it works on hot guys!

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